PIZZA POUNDS

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding!” I cried as I stood on the bathroom scale.

“Everything all right in there?” my husband Steven called through the bathroom door.

I grabbed my robe, putting it on before opening the door a crack. “I gained three pounds from yesterday!” I cried.

Steven looked confused. “Three pounds in a day?”

“It happens every time I eat pizza.” I sighed as I opened the door all the way and went over to the closet to get ready for work. “I only had two slices! How can that put on three pounds?”

When I didn’t get an answer I looked over at Steven. He shrugged his shoulders. “You don’t look like you’ve gained any weight.”

I guess my confused look had him continuing. “You always look beautiful.”

I had to laugh. “I’m not looking for a compliment Steven.”

I could see the relief wash over his face.

“I know it’s just water weight. But it still annoys me.” I began tossing pants and shirts on our bed. “Now I’m going to have to find a you’re-fat-today outfit.”

I began looking at jackets and sweaters that would cover my bloat. I turned around facing Steven. “It’s so unfair! I love pizza!”

Steven shook his head. “But pizza doesn’t love you.”

He went into the bathroom, opened the cabinet and grabbed his toothbrush. Putting a dab of toothpaste on it he began to brush his teeth.

I was still in the closet grumbling about what I was going to wear when Steven came out of the bathroom. The toothbrush was still in his hand, some foamy toothpaste still around the corners of his mouth. He had a quizzical look on his face. “Didn’t you have some cheesecake last night, too?”

I stopped what I was doing and looked over at him. “Are you serious?”

He went back into the bathroom, rinsed his mouth out with water and put his toothbrush away. When he walked back into the bedroom I was still staring in his direction. “I was thinking about it and not only did you have those two pieces of pizza but you also had a slice of cheesecake.”

I hadn’t realized my hands were on my hips as I stared at him. “Your point being?”

Steven looked confused again. “Well now you know the three pounds didn’t just come from pizza.”

I took a deep breath before looking back at the pile of clothes that were on the bed. “And exactly how is that suppose to make me feel better?”

Steven still looked confused. “Oh, we’re back to making you feel better?”

I nodded my head again. “How long have we been married?”

Steven came over to me with a smile on his face. “You don’t look like you’ve gained any weight at all.” He leaned over and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “You’re also beautiful.”

“Much better.” I smiled back at him. “Now leave me alone while I try and find my fat outfit for today.”