HAIRCUT

I was looking over at my Golden Pathos, it’s long tendrils hanging below the pedestal table it had been placed on.

“Hum…” I looked over at my son Alex, who was sitting at the dining room table eating a sandwich. “I think this plant might need a haircut.”

Alex looked over at the plant. “Well, it was nice knowing you.” he said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re not very good at giving plants haircuts.” Alex raised his eyebrows. “Don’t you remember the lavender plants two years ago?”

“Well, that was different.” I challenged. “They kept looking like they needed to be cut back. How was I supposed to know it would kill them!”

“What about the tomato plants?” Alex questioned.

“Well, that wasn’t my fault! I didn’t give them a haircut!” I went over to the kitchen drawer to get the scissors. “That was the stupid groundhog that came up on the porch and snapped the vine!” I looked over at Alex while holding the scissors up in the air before closing the drawer with a bump from my hip. “If I recall I actually saved that plant by using tape to put it back together!” I smiled as I nodded. “I harvested at least two cherry tomatoes from that plant after that!”

Alex shook his head and laughed. “Harvested.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Okay, maybe it wasn’t a bumper crop but, at least I didn’t kill that plant.” I leaned on the back of a dining room chair. “Besides, I’m usually pretty good with my herbs. Last year I had basil, mint, thyme…” I stopped for a moment to think. “Oh, and parsley! I had a lot of parsley.”

“Wasn’t that for the Monarch butterflies?” Alex picked up his plate and went to the sink to rinse it off before placing it in the dishwasher.

I shrugged my shoulders again. “Well, we both used it.” I went over to the Golden Pathos and tried to untangle the long tendrils that were twisted around the pot. “Okay, so let’s see here.” I held onto a dead leaf, that was deep in the middle of the plant, reaching in with the scissors and snipped it off.

“See?” I held up the dead leaf. “It needed that out.”

I looked around the plant searching for more wilted leaves. Reaching, once again, into the center of the plant with the scissors I watched one of the tendrils fall to the floor. “Whoops.” I looked over at Alex. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Alex picked up the piece with several living leaves attached. “Well, it seems it didn’t survive the

haircut.” He handed me the leaves.

“It’s okay!” I put the scissors down on the table and went over to the glass cabinet. “I can fix this.” I filled a glass with water and snapping the last leaf off I placed that end in the water. “I’ll just propagate this and add it back to the plant once the roots begin to show!”

“I thought you were trying to give it a haircut?” Alex looked confused. “Now you’ve decided you’re going to make the plant bigger?”

“Okay, fine. I’ll just cut a few more off and make a whole new plant to give to someone.” I went over to the table to get the scissors when Alex scooped them up first.

“I don’t think that’s a great idea. Think back to your lavender haircut skills?” he said holding the scissors away from me. He looked back at the Golden Pathos. “You can thank me later.”