SKUNKED

It was already dark out when I finished cleaning the kitchen. With a final wipe of the countertop I grabbed the garbage bag from its container, tied the top closed and headed out the back door to throw it in the garbage can.

Leaving the back door open, I lifted the lid to the can when a horrific smell hit me like a ton of bricks. I dropped the bag on the ground and raced back in the house.

“Oh my gosh.” I couldn’t stop coughing as I leaned against the closed door.

My son Alex came around the corner holding his shirt that was pulled up over his nose and mouth. “What’s that smell?” he cried.

“I was taking the garbage out and I think a skunk got me!”

“How did it flood the whole house so fast?” He looked behind him. “My room’s all the way at the other end of the house!” He looked up at the ceiling where the return register for the air conditioning was. My eyes followed his.

“I’ll go turn off the air conditioning!” He raced into the living room and shut off the air conditioning but it was too late.

The whole house was filled with the noxious fumes.

Still coughing I came into the living room. “I’m going to go change my clothes I think it got me!” I smelled my shirt sleeve but didn’t smell anything. “I’m not taking any chances.”

A few minutes later I came back into the living room carrying my skunked clothes. “I just got out of the shower and now I’m going to throw these in the washing machine.”

Alex had opened the front windows and turned the ceiling fans on. “It’s not getting any better in here.” He said, his shirt still over his nose and mouth.

“Try turning on the exhaust fan over the stove.” I called over my shoulder as I headed for the laundry room.

With the skunked clothes in the machine I came back into the living room. “Still not better?” I asked as Alex stood in the middle of the living room, his face still covered with his shirt. “No, and I just checked my room, it really stinks in there.”

I grabbed my phone and looked up how to get rid of skunk smell. “Okay, it says right here that vinegar helps get rid of the smell.” I held out the phone for him to see before I went into the kitchen and pulled out the gallon jug of white vinegar and put it on the counter top. Going into the cabinet I took out a stack of bowls.

I filled two of the bowls and handed them to Alex. “Start placing them all over the house.”

When he returned I handed him two more. “Don’t forget to put a few downstairs in the basement.” I called after him.

When I ran out of bowls I began filling glasses. When the last drop of vinegar came out of the container I looked over at Alex. “Well, let’s see if it works.” I sniffed the air. “Either I’m starting to get used to it or it’s getting better.” I said.

Alex sniffed the air. “Not to me it isn’t!” He quickly pulled his shirt back over his face. “So how long does it say it takes before the vinegar works?”

“Good question. I didn’t read that far.” I took my phone out of my pocket and looked it up. “Well, this isn’t good.” I looked over at him and raised my eyebrows before holding out the phone to him. “It says it can take up to three weeks.”

“Three weeks! Are you kidding me!” He began shaking his head, with his free hand he pointed to his shirt that covered half his face. “I can’t keep walking around the house like this!”

“What if we try putting cotton balls in our noses?” I headed for my bathroom to get some.

“How about no more taking the garbage out after dark?” Alex called.

I came back in the room and handed him a handful of cotton balls. “You don’t have to worry about that.” I said as I stuffed a cotton ball in my nostril. “I’m pretty sure I’ve learned that lesson!” I stuck another one in my other nostril. Twitching my nose around I looked back at Alex. “It’s not comfortable but I think it’s working.”

Alex just shook his head and handed me back the cotton balls. “It’s going to be a long three weeks.” He sighed.