WEED KILLER

“Hey, Alex!” I called out to my son. “Do you use insect repellent?”

Alex came into the living room where I was scrolling on my phone. “I spray my sneakers when I’m going out in the woods for a walk.”

“But you don’t spray it on your skin do you?”

Alex looked confused. “I don’t think you’re supposed to spray it on your skin.”

“When I was a kid we used to spray it all over our skin.” I laughed as I shook my head. “You know, to protect us from bug bites.”

I held up my phone for him to see the video I’d just watched. “I just watched someone spray our brand of bug repellent on some weeds and they were dead in less than a day.”

Alex shook his head. “You know you can’t believe everything you see on the internet.”

“I know.” I got up from the couch. “But this one I can prove to myself.” I looked over at Alex. “Where do you keep the can of repellent?”

Alex pointed to the hallway closet. “It’s in there on the bottom shelf.”

I went to the closet and grabbed the green and orange can of repellent and turned it over to read the directions. “Nope.” I pointed to the directions on the can. “It says you can spray it on skin.” I began shaking my head. “They don’t want you spraying it directly on children.” I laughed as I read the directions out loud. “When using on children, apply to your own hands and then put it on the child. Spread evenly with hands to moisten all exposed skin.” I looked at Alex raising my eyebrows. “That sounds safe.” I laughed.

“You don’t know if it actually kills weeds, too.” He reminded me.

“You’re right.” I headed for the front door. “There’s some weeds in the driveway that I’ve been meaning to pull up.” I began shaking the can. “Let’s see what this does to them.”

Halfway down the driveway we came to a little clump of weeds that had managed to grow up between the Belgium block.

“Okay, my little weed friends. Thanks for being a part of my experiment.” I lightly sprayed the weeds and stepped back. “So, I sprayed them with as much as I would have used to spray on myself.”

I looked at the slightly moistened weeds and then to Alex. “What do you say? We give it a day and check back?”

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “I guess.”

We walked back into the house and I went to wash my hands. “I’m actually hoping the video is wrong.” I called over my shoulder.

A few hours later, Alex and I were headed out for a walk when I stopped halfway down the driveway.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I cried.

Alex and I were looking at where the green weeds had been just a few hours ago and were now shriveled up and dead.

“How does this stuff get approved to be used on people when it does this to plants?” I cried.

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe they think the diseases you can get from bug bites are worse than the stuff you spray on yourself to keep them away?”

“Well, now that I see this,” I pointed to the dead weeds. “I’m going to be doing some serious research on natural bug repellents.” I hoped he could hear the conviction in my voice as we started walking again.

Alex looked over at me. “So what you’re actually saying is that now you’re giving yourself the perfect excuse to spend hours scrolling on your phone?”

“Doing research!” I countered.

He raised his eyebrows. “And stopping to watch the occasional funny cat video?”

I had to sigh. “Okay. Maybe that too.”