My son Alex put the bag of leftovers from the restaurant on the counter. “Do you want me to put these in the fridge?”

“You can put mine in, thanks.” I tossed my jacket on the chair.

My husband Steven took his container out of the bag. “I think I’m going to finish mine now.” he opened the silverware drawer and pulled out a fork.

Alex took the other two containers out of the bag and put them in the fridge. Then grabbed the bag they’d come in and was about to ball it up when I cried out. “Don’t throw that away! It’s a perfectly good bag. I can use that!”

Alex looked over at Steven and just shook his head as he handed me the bag. I very gently folded it up and placed it on the counter. “I’ll put that with the other ones when I go to the laundry room.

Steven looked over at me. “Okay, I get reusing the gift bags but come on.” he looked over at the plain white bag I’d just put on the counter. “What are you going to use that for?”

“For the same thing we just used it for!” I picked it up afraid that one of them was going to toss it when I wasn’t looking. “What if we have guests over for dinner and we want to send home some leftovers?” I held up the bag. “This is perfect!” I tucked it under my arm. “It’s certainly better than a plastic grocery bag.”

Steven looked over at Alex who shrugged his shoulders. “Hey, it’s a bag. If it makes her happy.”

I smiled at him. “It does make me happy.”

Alex leaned against the counter. “Okay, I get the gift bags and the plain bags but what do you do with the store bags you’re always saving? I never see you using them.”

“Are you kidding?” I shook my head in disbelief. “I’m never using them again. I’m just keeping them.”

Alex looked confused. “What?”

“Look, I’m not saving just any store bags.” I sighed. “That would be silly. But when you get a bag from Tiffany’s or say Louis Vuitton, the shopping bag is just as important as what you purchased!”

Steven eyes widened. “You bought a Louis Vuitton bag?”

I sighed again. “No, I’m still hoping to get one of those. I was just giving you an example.”

I watched as Steven sighed with relief. He got up from the table and put his fork in the dishwasher.

“When I travel and buy something from a cute little shop and they have a really nice shopping bag I keep those too because…” I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know, I just like them!”

“So you just keep them?” Alex still looked confused.

“It’s called collecting.” I explained to him.

“Some people call it hoarding.” Steven said in a low tone as he passed Alex to throw the plastic container in the trash.

“Wait!” I cried as he opened the trash bin. “We can reuse that!”

Steven looked down at the plastic container he held in his hand. “Are you serious?”

“Very.” I took it out of his hand and put it in the top rack of the dishwasher. “It’s the perfect size to freeze extra sauce in!” I looked over at Alex. “When you’re finished with your leftovers don’t forget to put your container in the dishwasher too.”

Alex just nodded and looked over at Steven.

“Hey, you two should appreciate my recycling skills.” I leaned back against the counter and crossed my arms. “With all the money I’m saving on gift bags and containers maybe some day I’ll get that Louis Vuitton!”

My husband Steven walked into our bedroom while I was making the bed. “We need a new scale.” he said as he walked to our closet and opened the door.

“Are you kidding me?” I pulled the sheets tight. “That’s the best scale we’ve ever owned!” I argued.

Steven turned around to look at me. “But it never gives the right weight.”

I shook my head. “That’s because you don’t know how to work it.” I straightened the blanket.

“How can you not know how to work a scale?” Steven asked. “You stand on it and it’s suppose to tell you your weight.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong.” I pulled the comforter up. “We’ve had scales like that before and they’ve always made me unhappy.”

Steven started to laugh.

“It’s not funny!” I cried. “You remember the last scale we had. I had to drag that thing all over the bathroom floor before I found the right spot that would weigh me what I wanted to weigh that day.”

Steven pulled out a pair of his shoes and walked over to the bench at the end of our bed. “Is that why we got rid of it?” he asked as he sat down.

“Of course.” I walked around his to straighten the other side of the bed.

“You told me it was broken.” he began putting on his socks.

I turned to look at him. “It was.” I couldn’t believe he was having such a hard time understanding. So I tried again. “When a scale doesn’t weigh me what I want to weigh, it’s broken.”

“Is that why we’ve been through so many scales.” Steven looked surprised.

“Absolutely!”

“So how do you work this scale?”

“It depends on how much less you want to weigh.” I said. “If it’s only five pounds, you stand on it, rock back on your heels until your toes are off the scale, and you’re magically five pounds lighter!”

“Okay, what else do I need to know?” he bent over to tie his shoe.

Because he seemed so interested I continued. “If you want the perfect weight you lift your leg off the scale and tip a little to the right. That’s when you know you’re going to have a good weight day!”

When Steven didn’t say anything I felt I had to add a precaution to my last sentence. “When you tip to one side, don’t accidentally touch the wall if you get off balance. That throws the whole thing off and you’ll have to start all over again.”

Steven stared at me for what I thought was a bit too long before he made his own suggestion. “What if I just go and buy my own scale?”

I shrugged my shoulders before I reached over to fluff the pillows. “Suit yourself. But it seems like a waste of money when we have a perfectly good scale already.”

My son Alex and I were driving into a local park when I quickly hit the brakes. “Oh My God!” I pointed to a sign at the side of the driveway. “Best camp ever!” I cried.

Alex looked over at all the signs for all the different camps. They had Basketball Camp, Baseball Camp and Soccer Camp. It took him a second to read through them all before he saw what I was talking about and began to laugh. “Dodgeball Camp! Wow! They wouldn’t even let us play that back when I was in middle school.”

“You haven’t lived until you’ve been pegged in the face with an overinflated rubber ball!” I began to laugh. “Of course, the rules were ‘never aim at the face’.” I looked over at Alex and shook my head. “No one ever followed that rule.”

Alex laughed. “Nope, nobody ever did.”

I shook my head. “Remember the sting you’d feel after that ball made contact on bare skin?”

“Depended on who was doing the throwing.” Alex added. “Some made it sting more than others.”

“True.” I nodded in agreement.

Instead of parking I began driving, following the arrow on the sign. “I have to find this camp.”

“Seriously?” Alex began to laugh.

“If you’re crazy enough to sign up for this camp you’ve got to be a hardcore dodgeball player.” I looked over at him. “Don’t you want to see it too?”

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “I guess it could be fun to watch.”

I finally found the field they were playing on and pulled over to watch. “They look like middle school kids.” I put the car in park but left the engine running. There were about twenty children standing on the sidelines of a field watching while three others were running around. “They don’t look very hardcore.” I had to admit I was a little disappointed. “I was expecting them to be in matching shirts with team name like Dodgeball Demons printed on the back.”

Alex shook his head. “It looks like a middle school gym class where they all just stand around.”

“Maybe they’re on a break.” I reasoned. “It is pretty hot out.”

We saw that some of them had wandered over to a picnic table where all the water bottles were.

The girls on the sidelines stood next to each other talking, not really paying attention to the boys on the field, when suddenly one of the boys whipped a ball at the girls who were talking.

In unison Alex and I both called out “Ooh!” as we watched the ball ping off the side of one of the girls head, and she laughed.

“Yeah, that’s about right.” Alex said as he shook his head and laughed. “Just like gym class.”

I put the car back in drive. “Hey, she took that hit pretty well. Maybe they are more hardcore then they look.”

I began driving back to the main part of the park. As we passed the camp signs again I couldn’t help but smile. “I still say that’s the best summer camp sign ever!”

My son Alex and I were sitting on our newly power washed and stained deck. “I know we have to clean and re-stain the deck every few years, but I really hate it.” I sighed as I gently rocked back in my rocker.

“Why?” Alex looked confused. “It looks great!”

“I know but remember earlier in the summer when we were out here watching the chipmunks scamper all over the yard then dart under the deck? I’m pretty sure they’d made a burrow under there.” I looked around the yard. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but they’ve all left.”

Alex looked around the yard. Then got up to look over the railing of the deck. “You know, you’re right. I don’t see any of their holes.” He went back and sat. “That’s too bad. They were fun to watch.”

I leaned back further in my chair. “Remember the three that used to chase each other all over the yard? Oh my gosh, they were so cute!” I pointed to a spot next to the bird feeder. “One was trying to get some seeds off the ground next to a mourning dove. That’s when we saw the mourning doves do that weird move where he held up one wing. Then we found our that what they do when they think someones in their territory.” I started to laugh. “He looked like he was dabbing!”

Alex started to laugh. “Yeah, but the chipmunk wasn’t very intimadatied! He just ran over the bird’s back!”

“I’m pretty sure no one’s taking the mourning doves too seriously with that move!”

That’s when my husband Steven came out on the deck. “What are you guys laughing about?” he asked as he sat down next to me in his Adirondack chair.

“I was just telling Alex how sad I am that the chipmunk family that lived under our deck had to leave because we were mean and power washed and stained their roof.”

Steven looked confused. “So you were showing your sadness by laughing?”

“No.” Alex said. “We were talking about all the funny things they’d been doing earlier in the summer.”

Steven looked around the deck. “Hey, I’m sorry about that but we can’t let the deck go untreated for too long.” He looked around the yard. “Besides I’m sure they’ll be back.”

I looked over at Alex. “I don’t know, what do you think Alex? First the power washing must have felt like they were going through a hurricane, then big blobs of stinky stuff comes dripping through the cracks and into they’re burrow while we roll on the stain and to top it all off it’s a sticky mess for days until it dries.” I looked over at Steven. “Would you come back?”

Steven shrugged his shoulders. “Hey, I don’t want them up on the deck anyway. Chipmunks can do a lot of damage.” he got up and began to walk in the house. “I’m getting a bottle of water, anyone else want one?”

“I’m good.” I said.

“Me too.” Alex added.

“By the way, the deck looks great!” I called to him as he went inside.

Once he closed the door I turned to Alex and whispered. “Still wish we didn’t have to do it.” I sighed as I looked around our chipmunk-less yard.

I walked into the house and saw my son Alex sitting on the couch. “Hey!” I called as I headed right to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water before heading back out the front door. “Did you see my Gerber daisy?” I said as I passed him again.

“No.”

“Look out the front window.” I said as I went out and began slowly pouring the water on it. When my glass was empty I came back in. “When I left an hour ago that poor little flower was fine.” I went into the kitchen to put the glass in the dishwasher. I walked back in the living room where Alex was looking out the window. “I think you’re too late.” he said, then turned around and put his feet up on the coffee table. “It sure looks dead to me.”

“Nope, it’s this heat wave. In about twenty minutes you’ll see it pop right back up.” I sat down putting my feet up on the coffee table too. “I want you to remember that when I go to visit Aunt Lizzy.”

Alex looked confused. “Why do I need to remember that?”

“Because I’m putting you in charge of watering the plants.” I looked over and smiled at him. “I’m going to be gone for a week so I’d like you to feed the fish and water my plants please.”

Alex sighed. “Okay, how often do I water them?”

“Well, that depends on the weather. If it’s a heat wave like this it could be twice a day.”

“Wait, what?” Alex shook his head. “I’m never going to remember that!”

“That’s why I’m showing you the Gerber daisy now.” I turned around to peek out the window. “Nope, still a little droopy.” I turned back to face him. “I don’t want you to make the mistake of thinking they’re too far gone and throw them away.”

Alex smiled. “Yeah, but at least it would have been one less plant to water.”

“Hey!” I tossed a pillow over at him. “That’s not funny.” I laughed. “I’ve been checking on the geraniums on the back porch but they’re a little more forgiving. Just check the dirt and make sure it’s moist.” I got up. “Here let me show you.” I walked back to the kitchen and Alex followed me. I stood at the window. “See the Peace plant on the table?”

“That table?” He was pointing to the bistro table.

“No, that’s a Hens & Chicks, it’s a succulent. You’re not going to have to worry about that one. It gets watered maybe once a week.”

Alex nodded his head. “Okay, so I’m ignoring that one, got it.”

I pointed to the table next to my rocking chair. “That’s the Peace plant. That’s going to droop just like the Gerber daisy in front. As soon as you see that you water it immediately.” I looked back at him. “And don’t forget my basil and mint plants.”

Alex looked at me. “You do know the only plant I’ve ever owned was a succulent and it died.”

I stared at him, until he shrugged his shoulders and said. “I’m just letting you know.”

I’d been away for a few days and when I returned I was thrilled that I came back to a clean kitchen.

“Thanks guys!” I said to my husband Steven and son Alex. “I was afraid I’d come back to a sink full of dishes!”

“Hey, we clean up after ourselves!” Steven said as he kissed me on the cheek and headed to his office.

Alex went to lay on the couch while I put the kettle on to make a cup of tea. I was getting a cup out of the cabinet when I happened to notice my dual soap dispenser, next to the sink, was missing one of the bottles.

“Hey, what happened to the soap dispenser?” I called out. No one answered. I looked around the corner where Alex was laying on the couch. “Do you know where the other soap dispenser went?”

Alex had his eyes closed.

“Oh, come on! You’re not asleep!”

Alex laughed. “Okay, fine. I’m awake.”

I looked at him for a moment, but he still didn’t answer me. So I asked again. “Do you know where the other soap dispenser went?”

Alex shook is head. “I’m no snitch.”

I burst out laughing. “Are you kidding me?” I cried.

“Snitches get stitches.”

Just then Steven came back into the room. “Alex won’t give up what happened to the other soap dispenser. He just informed me that snitches get stitches.”

Steven looked over at him and smiled. “I broke it the other day. I was cleaning out a pot and it slipped out of my hand and broke in the sink.”

“Why’d you take it out of the caddy?” I asked. “I just squeeze some into my hand than hold my hand over the pot and run the warm water over that.”

“Clearly we wash dishes differently.”

“I guess.” I sighed. “But I really liked that setup.” I pulled out my phone and went to the Amazon link. “I’ll just go on our recent orders list and get another one.” After a few clicks I was disappointed again. “Oh, man. It’s out of stock and they don’t know if they’ll be getting it again.” I looked at Steven. “I just got that one two months ago! I can’t believe it’s already discontinued!”

“Maybe you should find one made out of plastic instead.” Steven suggested.

I crinkled my nose. “The plastic one’s are so ugly.” I began scrolling through the site looking for something similar. “Besides, it’s not like we have small children around and can’t have something made of glass.”

“Suit yourself.” Steven said. “But you saw how long that one lasted. What do you think the chances are for another glass one?”

I looked over at Alex who shrugged his shoulders. “He’s right. I think we need to stay away from the new one, you know just to be safe.”

It was early Sunday morning when I got a text from my sister Liz. She’d sent a screen shot of a question I’d posted on the Netherlands Facebook group saying:

‘Vacationed in the Netherlands last year and loved it!!! Was wondering exactly what was in the Mayo you dip your fries in? I can’t find anything like it in the States.’

My sister texted: “Here’s a screen shot of the post (says it was posted 5 hours ago, which would be 3:00 AM!) You didn’t post this did you?”

My answer was “I did!!!” Than I called her.

When she picked up she didn’t even say hello but went right into, “You were up at 3 o’clock in the morning thinking about mayonnaise?”

I had to laugh. “No, I posted it around 7 last night, I guess the moderator didn’t approve it until then.”

“Okay, that makes me feel better.” I could hear the relief in her voice. “What made you think about their mayonnaise?”

“I was out with Alex yesterday and we stopped at McDonald’s to grab a quick snack and he was dipping his fries in ketchup.” I shook my head in disgust just thinking about it. “I was telling him about how good the mayo was on our trip and that he’d never want to dip his fries in anything else once he tried it!”

“It was good.” Liz admitted.

“It was better than good!” I cried. “It was awesome!”

Liz laughed. “Okay. I haven’t checked your post, did you get any responses?”

“Oh my gosh, yes!” I put my earpiece in so I could go to Facebook and read her the replies. “Everyone was so nice. I got dozens of replies! It’s called fritessaus which means fries sauce! So many of responses were links to places I could order some!”

Just then my son Alex came into the room. “Are you still talking about mayonnaise on french fries?” He couldn’t help but laugh.

“It’s not mayonnaise!” I called over my shoulder. “It’s called fritessaus and it’s going to change your life!”

My sister Liz couldn’t help but laugh on the other end of my phone. “It’s going to change his life?”

I shrugged my shoulder. “Okay maybe that’s going too far. But I ordered some and its coming in the mail tomorrow!”

Liz laughed again. “You paid for next day delivery?”

“They offered it for free! I sure wasn’t going to turn that down!”

Alex came back into the room shaking his head. “You get excited about the weirdest stuff.”

Just then the doorbell rang. I looked out the window and saw the UPS truck at the curb. “Oh my gosh!” I looked over at Alex. “Could you go get the package he just left? I wonder if it’s my fritessaus?”

My sister Liz was still on the phone. “Didn’t you just order it a few hours ago?”

“Yeah.” I sighed.

My husband Steven and son Alex and I were headed back to the car after a fabulous round of mini golf.

“I can’t believe you got two hole-in-ones!” Alex said as he climbed in the back seat.

I couldn’t hide my smile, I was grinning from ear to ear. “I can’t believe it either! That was so much fun!”

Steven had walked the clubs back to the golf shop and was headed back to the car. “You know, traditionally when you get a hole in one you buy everyone in the clubhouse a drink!” he said as he opened the car door.

I looked over at the snack bar attached to golf shop and gave a sigh of relief when I saw the closed sign. “Lucky for me it’s closed.” I said, pointing my thumb in the direction of the sign. “And we were playing mini golf. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count.”

Steven nodded his head in agreement as he got in the car. “You’re right. In mini golf you have to buy ice cream for everyone in your group.”

Alex looked over at me and smiled. “Sounds good to me! Seeing that you got two, I’m thinking you should buy us each two ice creams!”

“Oh, come on!” I laughed. “There’s no way you could eat two!”

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “I’m just saying.”

As I pulled out of the parking lot I looked up and down the street. “Where’s the closest ice cream store from here?”

Steven held up his phone. “I’ve already Googled it! Make a right at the light and it’s about two miles down the road.”

While we were driving a smile crept over my face again. Alex tipped his head from the back seat. “Still loving the fact that you got two?” he asked.

“It was pretty cool.” I said.

“We should play again next week.” Alex tapped Steven on the shoulder. “What do you think? Again next week?”

“NO!” I cried. “I’m never going to play again!”

Steven looked over at me a confused looked on his face. “What? Why?”

“Because I’ll never get two hole in ones again! The pressure’s too much. I’m quitting while I’m ahead!” I put my blinker on when I saw the ice cream shop coming up.

“Are you serious?” Alex laughed from the back seat.

“Completely!” I said as I parked the car. “What if I play again and I don’t get any hole-in-ones? You two will think today was just luck. This way I’m leaving the game as a pro.” I looked back at Alex as he opened his car door. “You know I’m at the Top of My Game.” I added.

Steven started to laugh. “At the Top of Your Game.”

“I really think she’s serious.” Alex said.

“Well, this stinks.” I said as I began to read the letter my husband Steven had just handed me.

“What?” Steven was going through the rest of the mail.

I held up the letter from AARP. “Nothing says you’re old like a letter from the American Association of Retired Persons telling you you can now be a card carrying member!” I pulled the card off the paper. “Look they’re even giving me a discount as a birthday gift!” I sighed as I tossed the letter on the table. “What a crummy birthday gift.” I sighed then picked up the letter again and read it out-loud. “Dear Kathryn, Enjoy your birthday.” I tossed the letter back on the table. “Enjoy your birthday.” I grumbled. “How am I suppose to do that when they’re telling me I’m old?”

“Your birthday’s not for weeks.” Steven reminded me. “Just throw the letter away.”

“I will.” I sighed. “But the damage is done.”

Steven laughed as he tossed the rest of the mail on the table on top of mine. “I’ve been getting that advertisement for years! I can’t believe that’s the first one you’ve gotten.”

I stopped and stared at him. I’m sure the look on my face showed I wasn’t thrilled with what he’d just said.

Steven smiled. “Come on! You’re not old.”

I laughed. “You’re just saying that.”

“Yup.”

“Hey!”

“Look, we’re both getting old, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

I sighed again. “I know. But I miss the days when I’d be asked to show my license so I could get a glass of wine.” I looked over at Steven sadly shaking my head. “It’s been a long time since someone’s asked to see my license.”

Steven went into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. I followed him, as he reached into the cabinet he got a bottle and held it up. “You want one?”

“Sure.” I leaned against the counter as he tossed the bottle to me and I caught it with one hand.

“See.” Steven said as he twisted the cap off his. “You still have your hand and eye coordination.”

“Very funny.” I took a sip of water and sighed again.

“Well, if you became a card carrying AARP member you could feel that way again.” Steven laughed.

Now I was confused. “How do you figure that?”

“When you go to Dunkin’ Donuts and want to get a free doughnut you can pull out that card to prove you’re an eligible senior citizen!”

“But I’m not a senior citizen yet!!! I’m a long way off!”

Steven shrugged his shoulder. “That’s not what that card said.”

I took another sip. “Crummiest birthday gift ever.”

“It wasn’t a birthday gift! It was an advertisement!”

“It was a special birthday rate.” I took the card out of my pocket. “See it has birthday balloons on it and everything!”

Steven took the card from me. “Hey, you can get a free insulated trunk organizer!” He looked over at me and smiled. “See, now that’s a nice gift for old people.”

I threw my water bottle cap at him.

He quickly put his water bottle down and caught the cap in his hand. “See!” he held up the cap. “We’re not that old yet!”

We were sitting on the patio of our favorite Mexican restaurant eating a late lunch. I looked over at my son Alex. “This was a great idea!” I said as I took a bite of my Pollo Especial that we were sharing.

My husband Steven nodded in agreement as he took a bite of his Caesar salad.

There was a cool breeze and I was enjoying the sound of the water splashing from a nearby fountain. “I don’t know why we don’t come out here more often?”

Alex took a sip of his water. “I know, it’s only twenty minutes away.”

A half hour later we were back in the car. “We should do that again.” I said as I was traveling down Route 33, a four lane road, headed back home.

“I’m in!” Alex called from the back seat.

I was in the slow lane but keeping up with the traffic which means I was going about 10 miles over the speed limit. An SUV was trying to pass me on the left but we were pretty much staying together when we passed a police car tucked back off the road.

“Oh, man!” I cried as I looked down at my speedometer to confirm I was speeding. I wasn’t sure what to do. Should I tap my breaks, proving I was going too fast or keep going, pretending I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I chose the latter.

Steven tried to reassure me. “You’re fine. Everyone is going the same speed.” he patted me on the leg.

I nervously looked in my rear view mirror and saw the police car pull into traffic. “Oh, great!” I sighed. “He’s coming!”

Steven shook his head. “Stop worrying. Maybe his shift is done.”

I kept checking the mirror. Then I saw the sign that my exit was coming up in two miles. “Now what do I do?” I asked as I pointed to the sign. “If I take the exit it looks like I’m trying to get away!”

Alex laughed from the back seat. “Or it looks like you’re taking your exit.”

I took a deep breath, feeling my anxiety beginning to rise.

Steven patted me on the leg again. “What’s the worst that could happen? You get a ticket?”

I looked over at Steven. “Yes!” I cried. “I get a ticket, our insurance rates go up and you call me Speed Racer for the next five years never letting me live it down that I was speeding!”

Steven laughed. “True.”

I looked in the rear view mirror again. “Oh my gosh! He’s turned his lights on!” I instinctively eased my foot off the gas, dropping back and letting the left hand traffic pass me. My hands were beginning to get sweaty as I tried to accept my fate.

That’s when the police car passed me and got behind the SUV that had been next to me a moment ago. “Oh my gosh!” I said as we watched the SUV pull over to the side of the road, the police car pulling up right behind them. “We were going the same speed!” I cried.

Alex laughed. “See. He wasn’t after you.”

As we passed the pulled over car I couldn’t help but feel sorry for them. “That could have been us.” I said as I put my blinker on and took our exit.

“But it wasn’t.” Alex said.

I wiped my sweaty hands, one at a time, on my pants. I could still feel my heart racing.

As we continued down the road Alex leaned forward. “You know you’re going 35 when the speed limit is 45 here.” He pointed to the speed limit sign we were passing.

“I know.” I said as I continued at the slower speed. “I’m not taking any more chances today.”