I was scrolling through my e-mail when one quickly caught my eye. I clicked on it and had to laugh. “Reverend Kathryn!” I cried. “I completely forgot about that!”

My son Alex, who was sitting across the room, looked up. “You’re a Reverend?”

“No, but I almost was.” I opened the e-mail and began reading it to him. “Greetings Kathryn and Happy Anniversary! It’s been nine months since you’ve become a minister.” I looked over at Alex. “I filled out the entire application but never gave them my credit card number.”

Alex looked confused. “What made you do that?”

I looked back at the e-mail. “Well, nine months ago I was watching a television program where someone’s friend was officiating their wedding. I got curious about how you became one so I Googled ‘How to become an ordained minister.’” I shrugged my shoulders. “Turns out it’s not that hard.” I went back to the e-mail. “You pretty much fill out a form and for the low price of $39.99 you can get the classic wedding kit.”

Alex shook his head. “Which does what?”

I looked back at the site on my phone. “It says it’s a great package to help me plan and officiate memorable and legal wedding!” I looked back at Alex. “Pretty great, huh!”

My husband Steven came into the room. “What’s pretty great?” as he picked up the days mail I’d left on the coffee table and began sorting though it.

Alex was still shaking his head. “Did you know Mom wanted to become a minister?”

Steven stopped sorting and looked over at me.

“Wait,” I held my phone up. “I never said I wanted to become a minister. I just said I Googled it and filled out the form.” I looked over at Steven. “I just never gave them my credit card number.”

Steven looked confused as he put the stack of mail back down. “A minister?”

I shrugged my shoulder again. “I kind of thought it would be fun to add to my resume!” I smiled at the both of them. “’Works with children pre-K through 8^th grade and can also preform weddings!’” I moved the phone closer for Steven to see. “Reverend Kathryn! You’ve got to admit that’s a pretty great title!”

“I guess.” Steven shook his head. “So why didn’t you finish and give them your credit card?”

I sighed. “Because once I thought about it I realized I didn’t want to be responsible for legally marrying two people.” I looked at Steven then at Alex. “What if they divorced? I’d feel completely responsible.”

“Seriously?” Alex looked over at Steven.

Steven looked back at me with a skeptical look. “There’s more to it than that. Isn’t there?”

“Well,” I couldn’t lie. “As much as I’d love the title, I’m pretty sure we all know what would happen if I had to do any public speaking.”

Alex started to laugh. “Oh yeah. I forgot about that.”

“Who wants to be married by someone who would be visibly shaking if they had to stand up in front of a crowd?” I shook my head at the thought.

“That’s not even including the talking part.” Steven laughed.

Jogging up the front porch steps, I came into the house and went directly to the kitchen. Opening the cabinet under the sink I grabbed a bottle of window cleaner and pulled the paper towels off it’s stand. It was as I was headed back out the front door when I noticed my husband Steven watching me.

“The car’s still running.” I explained to him as I dashed out the door again.

Steven decided to follow me. “Didn’t you just leave to go to the grocery store?” he asked.

“I never made it there.” I called over my shoulder. “I’ve run out of windshield washer fluid, so I had to come back home to clean this mess off the windshield!”

“What happened?” Steven asked as he came down the porch steps.

I leaned over the hood of the car, spraying the cleaner on a disgusting smear that took up half my driver’s side of the windshield.

“What was that?” he asked, picking up the paper towel roll I’d dropped in the driveway and handed me a sheet.

“A beetle.” I said as I scrubbed harder with the paper towel, only to create a bigger mess than I’d started with. “This is so disgusting!” I cried.

“How’d it happen?”

“It all started out innocently enough.” I said as I sprayed more cleaner. “I was pulling out of our driveway when I noticed some kind of beetle walking across my windshield.” I looked over at Steven as he handed me more paper towel. “Isn’t it amazing how these tiny little creatures can hang on so tightly with all that wind blowing over them?”

“Sure.” Steven shrugged his shoulders. “I guess. But how did it get all over the windshield?”

“I didn’t want him to get hurt so I stopped the car hoping he’d fly away.” By now the cleaner was finally beginning to do its job. “But he wouldn’t fly away! So I started driving again.”

“And?”

“Well, I found myself watching him.” I complained. “I was so busy watching him that I wasn’t watching the road.” I dropped the dirty paper towels on the ground and took a clean sheet from Steven. “I was afraid he was going to get me in an accident, so I thought I’d try and help him move a little bit faster.” I admitted.

“You turned on the windshield wipers to get him to move faster?” Steven started to laugh.

“He was already so close to the edge I figured he’d see them coming and fly away.” I reasoned.

Steven stared at me for a moment before he handed me the roll of paper towels and walked back to the house.

“Hey!” I called after him,“It seemed like a good idea at the time!”

“What do you feel like having for lunch?” I asked my son Alex as he sat on the couch reading a magazine.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Doesn’t matter to me. Whatever you want.”

I leaned against the door frame and thought about it for a moment. “How about egg salad sandwiches?”

Alex looked up from his magazine. “Sure, that sounds great.”

“Perfect.” I smiled at him. “Could you make a half dozen hard boiled eggs for me?”

“Sure.” He put his magazine down. “I can do that.” He got up and walked past me into the kitchen.

I followed him and leaned against the counter as he took the eggs out of the refrigerator. “You know you make a better hard boiled egg than I do.” I felt I needed to explain.

Alex just nodded as he took out a pot and put the eggs into it.

“When I make them I can never get them to peel without taking half the egg with it.” I sighed.

Alex reached into the cabinet and pulled down a bowl. “That’s because you skip the ice water part.”

“I use the same pot the eggs boiled in, dump the boiling water out, and add cold water.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Same thing.”

Alex shook his head. “No it’s not. The pot’s still hot and cold water isn’t the same as ice water.”

I sighed. “Yeah, but…”

Alex started to laugh as he went over to the sink and filled the pot with water. “You just don’t feel like making hard boiled eggs right now. I get it.”

I sighed again. “It’s just that I have four more loads of wash to do and I still have to get set up for work next week.”

Alex set the pot on the stove and turned it on. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got this.”

“Thank you.” I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You’re the best.”

My husband Steven walked into the kitchen. “What is he the best at?” he asked.

“Making us lunch!” I quickly answered.

Alex looked at me. “I thought I was just making the hard boiled eggs?”

I just smiled at him.

“You could have just asked me to make lunch. I really wouldn’t have minded.” He laughed and shook his head.

“I swear, it really did start out with you being better at making hard boiled eggs.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Than it just sort of evolved into you making lunch.”

Alex took out another bowl to make the egg salad in. “What kind of bread do you want?”

“I’ll have mine on a toasted English muffin with a slice of yellow American, please!”

“That sounds good, but skip the cheese on mine and I’ll have a slice of tomato instead.” Steven added.

Alex went to the cabinet to get the package of English muffins.

“You’re the best!” I called as I headed to the laundry room to put another load in the washer while I thought of other chores I could delegate to someone else this weekend.

I was sitting on the back deck reading the newspaper when my son Alex came out to sit. “Morning!” I said as I tried to turn the page and refold the newspaper. The wind wasn’t making it easy as I struggled to make the fold.

“You know, you could just read the paper online and not have to fight the wind to see what’s happening in the world.” Alex said as a section, I’d just finished reading, began blowing across the deck.

“Nope! Never going to happen!” I said as I put my foot over the escaping newspaper before it got too far away. “I love everything about a newspaper. I love walking to the end of the driveway to scoop it up. I love bringing it in and sorting through the sections I’m going to read as my tea water comes to a boil. I love folding it in easy to hold sections.” I held my hand up to show him my fingers. “I even like the newsprint that comes off on my hands!”

Alex laughed as he shook his head.

I picked up my cup of tea and took a sip. “Oh, this is a fun story.” I made another fold in the paper before I began to read. “A couple in New Jersey just made the Guinness world record for a cornstalk they grew that had 29 cobs on it!” I looked over at Alex. “That’s pretty impressive.”

Alex looked alarmed. “What kind of toxic waste spill did they plant that in?”

He had caught me off guard with that question. “What’s that suppose to mean?”

“Come on, that’s a pretty weird mutation.” Alex just shook his head. “I know I wouldn’t eat it.”

I looked back at the article. “They’re not eating it either. It says they’re going to put it on display.”

Before Alex could answer we both heard the house phone ring. I looked over at him. “Could you run in and answer that for me?”

“Sure.” he got up from his chair. “But you know it’s only going to be a telemarketer.”

“Maybe not.” The wind had picked up and I was struggling to keep my newspaper from becoming a kite.

After answering the phone Alex came back out. “I was right, telemarketer.” He sat back down. “Why do we even have a land line anymore? We only use our cellphone.” He looked over at me struggling with my newspaper. “Land lines, newspapers? What century do we live it?” he started to laugh.

That’s when my husband Steven came outside. “What’s so funny?”

Alex pointed at me. “Mom, trying to keep her newspaper from blowing away.”

Steven looked over at me. “That reminds me. Could you save the paper for me? I thought we could have a fire in the fire pit tonight.”

“Sure I can.” I looked over at Alex and smiled. “It’s just one of the many uses a newspaper has to offer.”

I was in the kitchen, finishing up with the after-dinner dishes, when my husband Steven and son Alex came through, headed for the back deck.

“It’s a beautiful night out.” Steven said as he opened the back door. “You want to come out and sit with us for awhile?”

“Sure.” I picked up the pot I’d just washed and began to dry it. “Just let me put this away and I’ll be right out.”

A few moments later I looked out the kitchen window and saw both my guys watching one of our hummingbirds at its feeder. I had to smile knowing that as soon as I got outside one of them would sadly say I’d just missed his visit.

I made one more quick scan of the room, making sure everything was done before I opened the back door.

“You just missed the hummingbird.” Alex said pointing to the feeder.

I smiled. “I was lucky! I saw him out the window when I was checking on the two of you.” I sat down in my rocking chair but after a few minutes I began to shiver. “It’s cold out here.” I gave my arms a quick rub. “I’m going inside to grab a sweatshirt.”

I came back out appropriately bundled up. “That’s better.” I sat back down again.

We sat quietly listening to the sounds of our back yard. The chirp and squeak of the hummingbirds as they let us know they were coming in for a drink. The blue jays squawking, alerting the other birds that a cooper hawk was close by. The sound of the squirrels as their little claws dug into the bark of the trees as they chased each other around. But, the most significant sound I’d been enjoying all summer long, the deafening song of the cicada, was completely silent. “No more cicadas.” I sighed.

“Nope, now it’s the cricket’s and katydid’s turn.” Alex said.

“I know.” I sighed. “But cicadas mean summer and crickets and katydids mean fall.”

“It’s not officially fall for another week.” Alex reminded me.

“I know but the evenings are getting chilly.” I sighed.

“It’s going up in the high 70’s next week.” Steven said.

“I know but…”

“Oh come on!” Alex cried. “It’s still summer!”

I pulled my hands up in the sleeves of my sweatshirt to keep them warm. “I’m cold.” I pouted.

Alex and Steven groaned in unison.

It was then, in the distance, I could hear a cicada begin it’s long shrill song. I sat up and smiled. “They’re still out there!”

“One lone one left.” Steven said.

“Maybe not.” I countered waiting to hear someone answer the call.

A few minutes later Steven looked over at me. “I think that cicada might be a little late to the party.”

I sighed as I sat back in my chair. “I guess it’s the crickets and katydids time to party.”

Alex leaned closer to me. “It’s still summer for a few more days.”

I was washing a ping pong ball in the sink when my husband Steven came into the kitchen.

“What’s that for?” he asked looking at the ball as I grabbed a paper towel and began drying it.

“It’s a toy for Bubba.” I looked over at the fish tank where our beautiful blue betta fish was

looking over at us. “See!” I held up the ping pong ball for Bubba to see. “He’s excited about his new toy!”

Steven shook his head. “What’s a fish going to do with a ping pong ball?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I have no idea but when I looked up ‘things to give your betta fish’ this came up.” I lifted the lid of the tank and dropped the ball in. Bubba scurried down to the bottom of the tank looking up at the bobbing white ball that was floating at the top of his tank. I gently put the lid back on and leaned over to see what he would do next.

Steven grabbed a nectarine and gave it a quick rinse before he leaned against the sink and took a bite. “He seems thrilled.”

We both watched Bubba lay at the bottom of his tank.

“Give him some time.” I said as I stood back up. “Remember how long it took him to go though his pineapple house?”

“About a week.” our son Alex said as he walked in the kitchen. He look in the tank. “He doesn’t look too happy right now.”

“Wait, why are you giving him a new toy now? Doesn’t Bubba go back to school this week?” Steven asked as he took another bite of his nectarine.

I worked in a school and got the betta as a classroom pet. When summer vacation started I brought him home.

“Well…” I looked over at Alex hoping he’d help me in this discussion but when he just shrugged his shoulders I could see I was on my own. “He’s a really great fish.” I started.

Steven looked to Alex then back to me. “You said he’d only be on the kitchen counter for the summer.” He reached over and opened the garbage bin, dropped the pit in, and was ready to close it when I stopped him.

“Don’t close it too hard it scares Bubba!” I cried.

“He’s a fish!” Steven sighed but gently closed the bin.

“He’s our pet now.” I nodded over at Alex. “You and Alex are allergic to cats and dogs so now I can finally have a family pet.” I leaned down to look in the tank again. “Isn’t that right, Bubba?”

Alex finally decided to add to the conversation. “He’s actually kind of fun to watch.”

“He watches me when I’m at the sink!” I turned to look at Steven. “If you take a tissue from the box,” I pointed to the box of tissues next to the tank. “he gets really excited! Swimming back and forth really fast.” I looked over at Alex. “Isn’t he hysterical when you hold up his food container?”

Alex shrugged “He does get pretty excited when he sees his food.”

Steven looked at both of us. “Yeah I see what you mean.” He looked back at Bubba who was still laying on the bottom of the tank. “I could look at that all day and never get bored.”

My son Alex and I have been spending a lot of time walking this summer. We’ve discovered new parks and walking routes all over the county.

It was as we were walking around one of our favorite shady routes (a mile loop around a rugby field) that I noticed a couple coming towards us with a large dog on a leash. I immediately dropped back walking single file behind Alex because the path wasn’t very wide. As we passed each other I noticed they were still walking side by side causing me to go further into the tall grass. Once they were past I went back on the trail and began looking at my legs.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked.

“I’m tick checking.” I couldn’t help feel annoyed as I brushed off a little speck of dirt that at first I thought was a tick. “How come we seem to be the only ones who have walking etiquette?” I said as we began walking again.

Alex started to laugh. “Walking etiquette, that’s a good one.”

“I’m serious!” I saw a jogger coming towards us. “Watch.” As the jogger came closer I smiled and said, “Good morning!”

She smiled back. “Morning!”

After she passed I looked at Alex. “See, that’s walking etiquette.”

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “She was jogging.” he reminded me. “But I see your point.”

We could hear another jogger coming up behind us so we both moved to the side to let him pass.

“Thanks.” he said as he jogged by.

“You’re welcome!” I called even though he had ear buds in his ears. I looked over at Alex and shrugged my shoulders. “I know he probably didn’t hear me but I’m still going to be polite.”

“Hey, you’re all about the etiquette now! I get it.” We’d finished the first loop and began to go around again.

We said ‘Good morning!’ a dozen more times, mixing it up with an occasional smile and a nod depending on how we were feeling at the moment.

“See! This is what I’m talking about.” I sighed. “It’s a beautiful day, we’re walking in the shade where it’s nice and cool and we’re on our second mile around the Rugby Loop!” I inhaled the wonderful pine smell and sighed again. “What a great day!”

We began seeing the same people as they were walking their second or third loop. We smiled and said our “Morning!” when I noticed an elderly lady, walking slowly by herself, coming towards us..

I looked over at Alex. “Good for her.” I said.

Alex looked confused. “Who?”

I tipped my head in her direction as Alex looked up the path.

“That’s how I want to be when I get to be her age.” I took another deep breath of the pine smell. “Doesn’t matter how slowly she goes, she’s still out enjoying nature and getting some exercise!”

We were now within earshot of each other. “Morning” I called smiling and giving her a head nod.

“I’ve already seen you.” she grumbled under hear breath as she moved past us and continued her walk.

We waited until she was far enough away before we started to laugh.

“You still want to be just like her when you get older?” Alex asked.

My son Alex put the bag of leftovers from the restaurant on the counter. “Do you want me to put these in the fridge?”

“You can put mine in, thanks.” I tossed my jacket on the chair.

My husband Steven took his container out of the bag. “I think I’m going to finish mine now.” he opened the silverware drawer and pulled out a fork.

Alex took the other two containers out of the bag and put them in the fridge. Then grabbed the bag they’d come in and was about to ball it up when I cried out. “Don’t throw that away! It’s a perfectly good bag. I can use that!”

Alex looked over at Steven and just shook his head as he handed me the bag. I very gently folded it up and placed it on the counter. “I’ll put that with the other ones when I go to the laundry room.

Steven looked over at me. “Okay, I get reusing the gift bags but come on.” he looked over at the plain white bag I’d just put on the counter. “What are you going to use that for?”

“For the same thing we just used it for!” I picked it up afraid that one of them was going to toss it when I wasn’t looking. “What if we have guests over for dinner and we want to send home some leftovers?” I held up the bag. “This is perfect!” I tucked it under my arm. “It’s certainly better than a plastic grocery bag.”

Steven looked over at Alex who shrugged his shoulders. “Hey, it’s a bag. If it makes her happy.”

I smiled at him. “It does make me happy.”

Alex leaned against the counter. “Okay, I get the gift bags and the plain bags but what do you do with the store bags you’re always saving? I never see you using them.”

“Are you kidding?” I shook my head in disbelief. “I’m never using them again. I’m just keeping them.”

Alex looked confused. “What?”

“Look, I’m not saving just any store bags.” I sighed. “That would be silly. But when you get a bag from Tiffany’s or say Louis Vuitton, the shopping bag is just as important as what you purchased!”

Steven eyes widened. “You bought a Louis Vuitton bag?”

I sighed again. “No, I’m still hoping to get one of those. I was just giving you an example.”

I watched as Steven sighed with relief. He got up from the table and put his fork in the dishwasher.

“When I travel and buy something from a cute little shop and they have a really nice shopping bag I keep those too because…” I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know, I just like them!”

“So you just keep them?” Alex still looked confused.

“It’s called collecting.” I explained to him.

“Some people call it hoarding.” Steven said in a low tone as he passed Alex to throw the plastic container in the trash.

“Wait!” I cried as he opened the trash bin. “We can reuse that!”

Steven looked down at the plastic container he held in his hand. “Are you serious?”

“Very.” I took it out of his hand and put it in the top rack of the dishwasher. “It’s the perfect size to freeze extra sauce in!” I looked over at Alex. “When you’re finished with your leftovers don’t forget to put your container in the dishwasher too.”

Alex just nodded and looked over at Steven.

“Hey, you two should appreciate my recycling skills.” I leaned back against the counter and crossed my arms. “With all the money I’m saving on gift bags and containers maybe some day I’ll get that Louis Vuitton!”

My husband Steven walked into our bedroom while I was making the bed. “We need a new scale.” he said as he walked to our closet and opened the door.

“Are you kidding me?” I pulled the sheets tight. “That’s the best scale we’ve ever owned!” I argued.

Steven turned around to look at me. “But it never gives the right weight.”

I shook my head. “That’s because you don’t know how to work it.” I straightened the blanket.

“How can you not know how to work a scale?” Steven asked. “You stand on it and it’s suppose to tell you your weight.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong.” I pulled the comforter up. “We’ve had scales like that before and they’ve always made me unhappy.”

Steven started to laugh.

“It’s not funny!” I cried. “You remember the last scale we had. I had to drag that thing all over the bathroom floor before I found the right spot that would weigh me what I wanted to weigh that day.”

Steven pulled out a pair of his shoes and walked over to the bench at the end of our bed. “Is that why we got rid of it?” he asked as he sat down.

“Of course.” I walked around his to straighten the other side of the bed.

“You told me it was broken.” he began putting on his socks.

I turned to look at him. “It was.” I couldn’t believe he was having such a hard time understanding. So I tried again. “When a scale doesn’t weigh me what I want to weigh, it’s broken.”

“Is that why we’ve been through so many scales.” Steven looked surprised.

“Absolutely!”

“So how do you work this scale?”

“It depends on how much less you want to weigh.” I said. “If it’s only five pounds, you stand on it, rock back on your heels until your toes are off the scale, and you’re magically five pounds lighter!”

“Okay, what else do I need to know?” he bent over to tie his shoe.

Because he seemed so interested I continued. “If you want the perfect weight you lift your leg off the scale and tip a little to the right. That’s when you know you’re going to have a good weight day!”

When Steven didn’t say anything I felt I had to add a precaution to my last sentence. “When you tip to one side, don’t accidentally touch the wall if you get off balance. That throws the whole thing off and you’ll have to start all over again.”

Steven stared at me for what I thought was a bit too long before he made his own suggestion. “What if I just go and buy my own scale?”

I shrugged my shoulders before I reached over to fluff the pillows. “Suit yourself. But it seems like a waste of money when we have a perfectly good scale already.”

My son Alex and I were driving into a local park when I quickly hit the brakes. “Oh My God!” I pointed to a sign at the side of the driveway. “Best camp ever!” I cried.

Alex looked over at all the signs for all the different camps. They had Basketball Camp, Baseball Camp and Soccer Camp. It took him a second to read through them all before he saw what I was talking about and began to laugh. “Dodgeball Camp! Wow! They wouldn’t even let us play that back when I was in middle school.”

“You haven’t lived until you’ve been pegged in the face with an overinflated rubber ball!” I began to laugh. “Of course, the rules were ‘never aim at the face’.” I looked over at Alex and shook my head. “No one ever followed that rule.”

Alex laughed. “Nope, nobody ever did.”

I shook my head. “Remember the sting you’d feel after that ball made contact on bare skin?”

“Depended on who was doing the throwing.” Alex added. “Some made it sting more than others.”

“True.” I nodded in agreement.

Instead of parking I began driving, following the arrow on the sign. “I have to find this camp.”

“Seriously?” Alex began to laugh.

“If you’re crazy enough to sign up for this camp you’ve got to be a hardcore dodgeball player.” I looked over at him. “Don’t you want to see it too?”

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “I guess it could be fun to watch.”

I finally found the field they were playing on and pulled over to watch. “They look like middle school kids.” I put the car in park but left the engine running. There were about twenty children standing on the sidelines of a field watching while three others were running around. “They don’t look very hardcore.” I had to admit I was a little disappointed. “I was expecting them to be in matching shirts with team name like Dodgeball Demons printed on the back.”

Alex shook his head. “It looks like a middle school gym class where they all just stand around.”

“Maybe they’re on a break.” I reasoned. “It is pretty hot out.”

We saw that some of them had wandered over to a picnic table where all the water bottles were.

The girls on the sidelines stood next to each other talking, not really paying attention to the boys on the field, when suddenly one of the boys whipped a ball at the girls who were talking.

In unison Alex and I both called out “Ooh!” as we watched the ball ping off the side of one of the girls head, and she laughed.

“Yeah, that’s about right.” Alex said as he shook his head and laughed. “Just like gym class.”

I put the car back in drive. “Hey, she took that hit pretty well. Maybe they are more hardcore then they look.”

I began driving back to the main part of the park. As we passed the camp signs again I couldn’t help but smile. “I still say that’s the best summer camp sign ever!”