My son Alex has had trouble sleeping since he was very little. He inherited that trait from his Dad, because I can sleep in the middle of the living room, with the television blasting and everyone walking around living their life, and not move a muscle.

But I’d just purchased a weighted blanket for him and now I was waiting for him to wake up and give me the good news. I was hoping he’d come out and tell me he slept through the night and couldn’t wait to write a testimonial letter to the company thanking them for their miracle blanket.

I looked at the clock, it was already past 11 o’clock in the morning when I finally heard his door open.

I felt like it was Christmas morning I was so excited. “Well?” I asked.

“Eh…” Alex shrugged his shoulders. “It’s too heavy to sleep with.”

“It’s supposed to be heavy!” I cried. “That extra weight is what reduces your stress and helps you sleep better!”

“Well, my stress levels went up when I couldn’t roll over!” Alex laughed as he shook his head. “I was fine when I was on my back but as soon as I went to go on my side I felt trapped!”

“I’m sorry.” I sighed. “I thought this would be the answer to your sleep problem.”

Alex came over and patted me on the back. “It’s okay. It was nice that you tried.”

I shook my head. “When you look at the commercials they just drape it over the person and they practically fall asleep in the middle of eating a tuna sandwich!”

“You really didn’t think it was going to be that magical, did you?”

I shook my head again. “No. But everyone I talk to that has one loves it!”

“I like mine.” Alex said. “I just can’t use it at night. But I like it when I take a nap on my couch.”

I looked over at him confused. “We were trying to find something that would help you sleep though the night. Not something for napping.”

“Hey, aren’t you the one who’s always saying a quick nap before dinner is what helps you make it through the rest of the day?” He went into the kitchen to make some coffee.

I just shook my head while I gathered up the shipping boxes the blanket had come in. “I guess we can throw these away now.” I began breaking down the boxes when my husband Steven came in. “Hey, you’re throwing out the boxes so I’m going to guess the blanket was a success?”

I sighed. “Not really.”

Alex called out from the kitchen. “I can’t sleep with it at night but I like it when I’m napping on my couch!”

Steven looked over at me. “Well, at least it’s working some of the time.” He tried to sound encouraging.

“I was hoping he’d tell us it helped him sleep though the night.” I folded the cardboard box in half and began taking apart the next box. “You know, ‘Hey, Mom! I slept like a baby!’”

Steven shrugged his shoulder. “Well, he kind of did tell you that.”

I looked over at him confused. “How?”

“He slept exactly like he did when he was a baby.” Steven smiled. “Short naps throughout the day.”

“Exactly!” Alex called from the kitchen.

“Did you read this?” I asked my husband Steven as we sat on the couch reading the morning newspaper.

Steven looked up over his paper. “Read what?”

“This article about DNA tests?” I held up the article. “Seems like there’s all kinds of drama for some people.”

“We already took ours.” he shrugged his shoulders. “We didn’t have any surprises.”

“Wait a second.” I scanned the paper then put my finger on the part I wanted to tell him about. “It says right here that the police can now go through a database where they can track a criminal by looking at a relative’s DNA!” I had to laugh. “Can you imagine being in that courtroom as they tell the defendant, ‘You can thank your Uncle Louie for getting caught! He wanted to find out if he came from Spain and instead we found you for breaking and entering!’” I looked back over at Steven. “Certainly makes the family reunions a little more tense!”

Steven started to laugh. “Maybe that might make their family reunions better.”

I was still scanning the article “Oh, there’s even more drama!” I cried. “It says one woman got back her results and it said the Dad she’d always known wasn’t her real Dad.” I looked over at Steven. “She called the company because she thought they made a mistake.”

Steven just shook his head. “What did they tell her?” He’d put his paper down and put his feet up on the coffee table.

“She said they were really very kind when they told her she was a NPE.”

“A what?”

“Genealogists call it non-parental event, a NPE.” I read further down. “She felt isolated until she joined a Facebook group of NPE’s and they have over four thousand members so far!” I looked sadly over at Steven. “I guess that’s one way to deal with it.”

Steven just shook his head. “I was surprised when I found out I wasn’t as German as I thought. I can’t imagine finding that out on my results.”

“I guess you could try looking on the bright side.”

Steven looked confused. “What’s the bright side?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “You get a bigger family?”

Steven shook his head. “I guess that’s one way to look at it.”

“Seriously though.” I sighed. “I wasn’t thinking about any of these things when we did ours.” I put the newspaper down and looked over at Steven. “Now the companies are admitting that even though they strip your name and any identifying details, a data breach could reactivate that information.”

“Well, there’s nothing we can do about it now.” Steven said as he shrugged his shoulders.

“That’s true.” I sighed again as I looked back at the newspaper. “They even ended the article with ‘caveat emptor’.”

Our son, Alex walked into the room. “Morning! What are you two up to?”

Steven looked over his shoulder. “Your Mom and I were discussing the DNA tests.”

Alex shook his head. “Yeah, I’m never doing one of those.” He stifled a yawn. “It creeps me out that anyone could have my DNA and do anything they wanted with it.” He headed towards the kitchen.

Once he was out of the room I looked over at Steven. “Do we let him know they kinda already have his DNA because we took the test?” I whispered.

Steven slowly shook his head no.

I was in the living room reading the newspaper when I saw a section about holiday cookies.

“Hey, Steven!” I called out to my husband who was in the kitchen making a cup of coffee. “Remember when I made Christmas cookie? Which one was your favorite?”

Steven came into the living room and sat down next to me on the couch. “I guess I’d have to say those lacy oatmeal cookies you used to make.” He took a sip of his coffee before setting the mug down on the coffee table, then leaned back against a pillow. “I remember it took you a dozen tries before you’d get the texture you were looking for.” He shook his head as he smiled. “But when you got it they were so good.”

Our son Alex walked into the room. “What was so good?”

“Your Mom asked me about my favorite Christmas cookie.” Steven patted the spot next to him on the couch and Alex came over to sit. “You know, back when your Mom baked.”

Alex looked confused. “You still bake. We just had brownies the other day.”

Steven shook his head. “I’m talking about starting from scratch baking, not making something from a box.”

“It’s true.” I sighed. “It’s been years since I baked.” I looked over at Alex. “What was your favorite Christmas cookie?”

Alex thought about it a moment. “I really liked the one with the Reese’s peanut butter pieces in them.”

“I made one with Reese’s peanut butter pieces in them?” Now I was confused. “Are you sure you’re not thinking of one of your friends Mom’s?”

Steven started to laugh. “Wow! It really had been a long time since you’ve baked if Alex is remembering someone else’s Moms baking!”

“No!” Alex cried. “I swear it was you! It came in an orange bag just like the chocolate chips bag!”

“Oh yeah…” I nodded as I pulled up the memory. “I’d make chocolate chip batter and put Reese’s in it instead.”

“Exactly!” Alex looked relieved.

“You’re right.” I said as I went back to reading the paper. “They were good, too.”

“Does that mean you’re baking this year?” Alex sounded hopeful.

“Naw.” I sighed. “I really don’t have much of a sweet tooth anymore.”

Steven and Alex looked at one another. “So why did you ask about our favorite cookies?” Alex asked.

“Oh, I was reading an article about holiday cookies.” I turned the paper around for them to see the article. “I was just wondering what you’re favorite ones had been.”

Alex sighed as he got up for the couch. “Well, that was certainly disappointing.”

“I’ll say.” Steven got up and followed him into the kitchen.

“Wait!” I called. “I wasn’t trying to upset anyone!”

Alex peeked his head around corner, a smile on his face. “If I say I’m upset will that guilt you into baking?”

“Probably not.” I shook my head as I got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen. “But it might guilt me into making you breakfast.”

“Nobody’s out there.” I sighed as I looked out the window of our back door.

Alex was in the kitchen with me making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “Isn’t that good?” he asked as he tossed the peanut butter knife in the sink and picked up his jelly knife. “Would you really like to see somebody in our back yard?”

“What?” I looked over at him then realized what I’d just said. “I wasn’t talking about people. I was talking about the birds.” I looked back out at our woods. “I haven’t seen a bird out there for days.”

“Isn’t that a good thing for you?” he finished making his sandwich and leaned back against the counter and took a bite.

Now I was confused. “I love seeing the birds.”

“That’s not what you told me on our last walk.” Alex reminded me.

It took me a second to remember that I’d told him my first nightmare as a child was after I’d seen the Alfred Hitchcock film called The Birds. “I’m only afraid of dozens of crows sitting in trees or on telephone wires staring at me while secretly plotting against me.”

Alex laughed. “Oh, that makes sense.”

“Hey, don’t laugh.” I cried. “Crows are very smart birds. They can remember faces and if you do something against them they’ve been known to attack!”

Alex looked confused. “What have you ever done to a crow that would make them want to attack you?”

“Nothing!” I shook my head. “That’s not the point. The school children in the movie didn’t do anything either but that didn’t stop them from being attacked as they ran down the road looking for safety!” I shuddered just thinking about that scene again. “But crows weren’t what I was talking about.” I looked out the glass door again and pointed to my feeders. “I filled them hours ago and no one’s come to visit.”

Alex looked outside. “How long were they empty before you filled them?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not sure. I was so busy getting ready for Thanksgiving and then putting up all the Christmas decorations that it completely slipped my mind.” I looked over at him feeling a little ashamed. “It could have been a week or more.”

“Well, you just answered your own question!” He said as he popped the last bite of sandwich in his mouth. “They’re mad at you and they’re boycotting our yard.”

I sighed as I looked over at him. “That’s not true.”

“Hey!” He shook his head. “You’re the one who just said birds can recognize faces and can hold a grudge!”

“I said crows can do that.” I laughed. “I’m pretty sure a black-capped chickadee just wants to eat.”

“You don’t know that for sure.” He kissed the top of my head as he walked out of the kitchen. “They could be in a whole other neighborhood, right this minute, asking each other what they did wrong to make you stop feeding them.”

“Oh, come on!” I cried as he went down the hall. “Now you’re just trying to make me feel guilty!” I called after him. I turned and looked back outside scanning the woods for any sign of a bird when a set of mourning doves landed under my feeder and began pecking at the ground. “Hey Alex!” I called. “It’s going to be okay! A set of mourning doves just landed!”

“That’s great!” he called back. “I was really starting to get worried.”

I smiled. I knew sarcasm when I heard it but I didn’t care as I looked back at the mourning doves pecking at the ground. “I’m just glad you guys are back.” I whispered to them.

It was Thanksgiving morning and while the turkey was in the oven and the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade was on the television my son Alex walked into the living room. “Happy Thanksgiving.” he said as he leaned over the couch to kiss the top of my head. “It smells really good in here already!”

“Thanks.” I took a sip of my tea. “I’m just taking a little break before I start peeling the turnip and potatoes.”

Alex went into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. “What time do you think we’re going to be eating?” he called out to me.

“I’m thinking around 4 o’clock. Does that sound good to you?”

“Sure.” he came in and sat down next to me on the couch. “You sure love watching this parade every year.”

“I really do.” I looked over and smiled at him. “I don’t know what it is about it, but I love it! When you see Santa at the end it really gets you in the Christmas spirit!”

Alex just laughed. “Whatever you say.”

“Hey,” I grabbed the remote to pause the show. “I was wondering if you could help me bring down the Christmas decorations from the attic when you’re finished with your coffee?”

Alex looked confused. “But it’s Thanksgiving. Don’t we at least wait until the weekend after to get them down?”

“Usually, but this year’s different.” I looked over at the dining room table that was already set for dinner. “Usually we have company for Thanksgiving but this year’s it’s only us.”

Alex smiled. “I know! Thanksgiving in sweat pants! I love it!”

I had to laugh. “Yeah, I’m kind of looking forward to it too! But we’re having guests over tomorrow and I’d really like to have the house decorated for them.”

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “Sounds like a lot of work to me.”

“It is. But once it’s done the house looks so pretty!” I tried to sound convincing.

Alex shook his head. “Sure. Why not?”

“Great! Thank you!” I turned the parade back on just in time to see one of my favorite balloons floating down the street. “I used to feel so much more connected to New York when your Aunt Lizzy lived there.” I sighed. “I’d watch the snippets they’d show of the Broadway shows that year and maybe see one with her.” I sighed again. “But then she moved to North Carolina.”

“Wait.” Alex looked over at me. “What’s happening here? Two seconds ago you were so happy?”

“I know.” I sighed. “It’s this time of year. One minute you’re super excited about the holiday and the next you’re remembering something that’s not a part of you’re holidays anymore.” I shrugged my shoulders. “It happens as you get older.”

Alex shook his head. “All right. Well, let’s get you happy again.” He put his cup on the coffee table. “Let’s start getting the decorations down.”

“Oh really!” I got up from the couch leaving the television on so we could still hear the parade as I went to pull down the attic stairs. “This is going to be so much fun!” Climbing up the stairs I began pulling the containers that I wanted to hand down to him.

Several minutes later I was handing the last container down when my husband Steven came into the hall. “What are you doing?”

“Getting the Christmas decorations down.” I said. “I want to start decorating right after dinner!”

Steven looked confused. “Aren’t you rushing the season just a little?”

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t ask me.”

That’s when I could hear the parade was coming to an end.

“HERE COMES SANTA!” the host of the parade announced. “THE HOLIDAY SEASON HAS OFFICIALLY STARTED!”

I looked at the two of them as I pushed the last container over to the side in the living room. “I think you both just got your answer.”

It was dusk and my son Alex and I were hoping to get a walk in before the sun went down. “I really hate that the sun sets so early now.” I complained as I pulled the strings of my sweatshirt hood tighter to cover my ears.

“Remember just a few weeks ago we were talking about how all the trees still had their leaves and how late fall was?” Alex locked the front door and we headed down the driveway.

“Yeah.” I sighed as I pointed to the piles of leaves on the ground. “Look what a few windy days will do.” We were both watching where we were stepping afraid of what could be under the leaves. “You know it just takes that one person who doesn’t want to clean up after their dog to ruin a good walk.” I reminded him.

We were halfway through our walk and were rounding a bend when I stopped and pointed “Wow! They got really big!” I cried.

It was our neighborhoods flock of turkeys. We’d been watching the hen and her five chicks since they were born in the beginning of the summer, but now you couldn’t tell which was which because they were all the same size. “We haven’t seen them in weeks! I thought they’d gone into hiding!” We stopped to watch them as they began moving closer to us.

“Why did you think they were hiding?” Alex said as we moved back a little to give them some space.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Well, when we saw them before we’d say how cute they were. Now when I see them, so close to Thanksgiving, I just think ‘Yum’.”

Alex looked over at me and began to laugh. “Did you actually just say when you see them you thought ‘Yum’?”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “It really was the first thing that popped into my head.” I felt a little ashamed of myself and thought I should explain. “It’s just that we never have turkey except on Thanksgiving and I’m really looking forward to it.”

Alex looked over at the turkeys busy eating whatever it is that turkeys eat. “Wow! That never would have crossed my mind.” he said as he shook his head.

“That’s because you don’t like turkey.” I said as we watched the turkeys get in a line and follow one another across the street to another neighbors front yard.

“No…” Alex said slowly. “I like steak and I like hamburger but I’ve never driven by a cow and thought ‘Yum’.”

“Okay! Fine!” I sighed again as we began walking. “Let’s just agree that our minds work differently from one another.”

“Oh, I’ll agree to that.” Alex laughed as he looked back over at the flock of turkeys. “But I’m never going to be able to see them again without thinking ‘Yum’!”

I’d just gotten back from a girl’s weekend trip and was dragging my suitcase up the front walk when my husband Steven opened the front door. “How was your trip?”

“Loved it!” He took my suitcase from me while I tossed my pocketbook on a chair in the living room. “We did a little shopping and went to the movies but we spent most of our time drinking wine and talking!” I smiled as I took off my jacket. “So to answer your question, it was perfect.”

Steven laughed. “I’m glad you had a good time.”

I followed him into the kitchen to put the kettle on for a cup of tea. “But I did have a scary ride home.”

Steven looked concerned. “What happened?”

“Well, I was driving up the parkway, loving how beautiful the fall trees were looking and how the sky was so clear and the sun was shining so brightly when all of a sudden a huge flashing sign said, ‘October-November, PEAK SEASON, Dusk-Dawn’ with a picture of a jumping deer!”

“It’s their rutting season.” Steven looked confused. “You know that.”

“I know but I can’t remember seeing those signs before.” I grabbed a cup out of the cabinet and placed my teabag in it. “It completely ruined the rest of my drive!”

“The parkway warning you about deer ruined your drive?” Steven looked confused.

“Yes!” I leaned back against the counter top. “The only thing that sign did was terrify me my whole ride home.” I shook my head. “Now I’m not seeing the beautiful trees anymore, instead I’m looking in the woods trying to guess when a crazy deer is going to come flying out at me!”

“But that’s a good thing.” Steven still looked confused.

“No it’s not!” I turned the kettle off and poured the water into my cup. “Even if I see a deer coming I’m going 80 miles an hour, how am I suppose to avoid a deer?”

I turned around to face Steven and could see he didn’t look very happy. “You’re going 80 miles an hour on the parkway?” he asked.

“Oh, come on! I’m just keeping up with the rest of the cars.” I sighed. “But that’s not the point.” I pulled my teabag out of my cup and threw it in the trash. “The only thing that sign said to me was, Good luck on your ride home. May you lose the lottery of a deer crashing into you!”

Steven just laughed. “That’s all you got from the warning?”

“Yes!” I took a sip of my tea. “It’s bad enough I have to look out for crazy drivers now they want me to scan the woods for deer! How am I suppose to enjoy a drive on a beautiful fall day when I’m constantly being reminded that there are crazy deer everywhere?”

“I’m sorry your drive home was ruined.” Steven just shook his head and stifled a laugh.

“Thank you.” I took another sip of tea. “Now I think I’m going to sit on the back deck and enjoy the colors of the trees from the safety of my rocking chair.” I went to the back door but before I opened it I looked back at Steven. “Do you want to join me? It’s beautiful out.”

Steven shook his head. “I think maybe you could use the time alone to unwind.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Maybe you’re right.” I opened the back door then started to laugh. “Unless you’re going to tell me I have to watch out for the crazy deer stampeding out of our woods and ending up on our deck.”

“No, but I will tell you to come back inside if you see them too close to the house.”

I turned around to see if he was kidding.

“Hey,” Steven shrugged his shoulders. “Better to be safe then sorry. They do get a little crazy this time of year.”

“What ever happened to the good old days when you rarely saw a deer but when you did you thought they were cute?”

Steven just shrugged his shoulder again.

“I miss those days.” I sighed as I went outside.

“I found him!” I cried as I closed the front door and put the candy dish back on the foyer table. “I actually found him!”

“Who?” Steven asked as he came from the kitchen.

“The English Bobby!” I couldn’t help but smile. “I can’t believe I finally found him!”

Steven started to laugh. “That’s been bothering you for years.”

“I know!” I sat down on the couch enjoying the few minutes I’d have before the doorbell rang again.

Alex came into the room taking a quick peep at the candy bowl. “Have you gotten a lot of trick-or-treaters so far?” He reached in and grabbed a Reese’s peanut butter cup.

“I found the English Bobby!” I cried.

Alex looked confused as he unwrapped the candy. “I vaguely remember something about an English Bobby but I forget what happened.” He popped the candy in his mouth.

“I could never forget.” I shook my head sadly. “He’s haunted me for three years.” I sighed as I thought back on that horrible Halloween. “Now in my defense, I’d had a long day at work that day.”

Steven laughed. “Every time you tell this story you always start out that way.”

“Well, I have to have some excuse.” I sighed.

“So what happened?” Alex asked as the doorbell rang again.

“Could you get this one?”

Alex sighed as he went and got the bowl. “Sure.”

When he came back from handing out the treats I continued with my story. “It happened to be a year of really rude kids.” I said.

“Or you were just tired.” Steven reminded me.

“Okay, fine. Maybe I was cranky that year.” I sighed again as I looked over at Alex. “Anyway, I’d been answering the door for an hour or so watching kids pushing and shoving each other and grabbing candy out of the bowl like the ‘crane game’ at the boardwalk! No matter how many times I said just take one they wouldn’t listen!”

But then this one little boy came up to the door with his mom. He was dressed as an English Bobby. The costume looked homemade and it was beautiful.” I looked over at Steven who was nodding because I’d told him this story dozens of times. “Anyway, he reached into the bowl and had grabbed a few candies and I said, ‘Take one’ and right away he dropped the candy back in the bowl and began saying how sorry he was and backed off our front porch. That’s when I realized he had special needs and I’d completely rattled him.” I felt like I could have cried again. “No matter how many times I told him it was okay and held the bowl out to him he just backed away.” I sighed. “I felt like I’d ruined his whole Halloween. I’ve been carrying around the guilt ever since.”

Alex just shook his head. “This was three years ago?”

“Yup, and every Halloween I’d hope I’d see him again. But I never did until this year!” I had to smile.

“How’d you know it was him?” Steven asked.

“He was dressed as a hamburger. He’s taller and I didn’t realized he had curly hair because he’d been wearing the bobby helmet when we first met, but it was the way he spoke to me that I just knew!” I smiled at Alex. “So I asked him if he’d ever been and English Bobby before. His Mom was standing in the driveway and she was the one who said he’d been one three years ago.”

“Wow! What are the odds that you’d see him again.” Alex just shook his head.

“So what did you say to the Mom?” Steven asked.

“I told her exactly what had happened and how sorry I was. Then I took a fistful of candy and put it in his bag and told him how much I’d loved his costume then and how much I loved his costume now.” That’s when the doorbell rang again and I got up to go get the candy bowl but before I went to the door I looked at Steven and Alex. “Have I mentioned that this is the best Halloween ever?”

They both just laughed. “We’re glad you’re having a good time.” Steven called.

It was getting late and I’d just finished a three hour seminar for work when I finally walked in my front door.

“Hey, how was the seminar?” my husband Steven called from the living room.

“Pretty good.” I answered as I hung my coat up in the closet and went into the living room. Steven patted the cushion next to him on the couch and I sat down. “I just wished they hadn’t stopped for a dinner break.” I sighed as I put my feet up on the coffee table and looked over at him. “I could have been home a half hour sooner.”

Steven looked confused. “They served dinner?”

I grabbed a pillow to put behind my head. “Yeah, they had a buffet. Sandwiches, wraps, potato salad, a whole bunch of stuff.”

Steven put the television on mute. “Did you know they were going to serve dinner?”

“Yeah.” Now it was my turn to look confused. “It was on the invitation.”

“But you ate before you went.”

“I know.” Now I was really confused. “I was the one who cooked our dinner before I left.”

“So you ate twice?”

“No, of course not.” I began shaking my head. “I just told you I ate dinner with you. Why is this so important to you?”

“Because it’s rude not to eat something when someone goes to all the trouble of getting food for you.” Steven just shook his head looking disappointed.

“But I’d already eaten!” I cried. “I wasn’t hungry!”

“You shouldn’t have eaten dinner with us.”

“But that’s when I was hungry!” I was starting to get annoyed.

Steven just shrugged his shoulders. “Hey, don’t get upset with me. I’m just letting you know it was rude. You could have at least put something on a plate and pretended.”

I leaned my head back against the pillow and stared at the ceiling. “Great.” I sighed. “Now I’m trying to remember if anyone saw me not eating.”

“Well, what were you doing while everyone else was getting their food?”

I thought about that for a moment. “I don’t know.” I sighed. “I didn’t know I was being rude so I wasn’t really paying attention.” I thought some more. “I think I was returning emails and texts.”

“So you were on your phone while everyone else was eating and socializing?” Steven shook his head again.

“Oh come on! No one was socializing! Everyone else was on their phone too! They were just eating at the same time!” I sighed as I looked over at him. “Great. Now my boss thinks I’m rude.”

Steven shook his head. “Do worry about it now. But just remember next time even if you’ve already eaten, eat again.” Steven shrugged his shoulders. “At least, that’s what I would have done.”

I had to laugh. “Oh sure. Easy for you to say! You’re always hungry!”

Steven smiled as he turned the sound back on the television. “Hey.” He shrugged his shoulders again and patted his stomach. “I’m never rude when it comes to food!”

My husband Steven was walking past the bathroom just as I was applying my new facial mask. He stopped and leaned against the doorway. “Oh geez, what’s this one do?”

“It’s a bamboo, charcoal infused sheet mask that once it’s activated will give me an oxygenating and tingling 3D bubble experience!” I was smoothing the mask against my skin making sure it was laying flat.

Steven started to laugh. “How do you activate it and what’s the 3D suppose to mean?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “You activate it by wetting your face first and I’m not sure what the 3D part is all about.” I turned around and leaned against the sink. “But it’s suppose to happen within the first few seconds.” I could feel the mask tingling on my face.

“It’s turning all soapy looking.” Steven said as he pointed to my face.

I turned around and looked in the mirror. “See! It’s working!” I picked up the package that it came in and turned it over to read it to him. “It says that in only three minutes I’ll be invigorating and detoxifying all while I’m removing my make-up!” I looked in the mirror and held up the package for him to see. “It not only says it in English but the directions are in French too!” I smiled at him and put the package back on the sink before turning around again. “For some reason I like that it’s in French.” I shrugged my shoulders. “It makes me happy.”

By now the bubbles had completely covered the mask and were beginning to drip onto my bathrobe. “Ooh, this one’s a little messy.” I scooped the bubbles off my robe and turned on the faucet to rinse off my hand. I took another peek in the mirror. “Well, it’s certainly working!”

“Yeah, you’re covered in soap all right.”

I could see in the mirror that Steven was shaking his head behind me. “Just one more minute and I’ll be all done!” Which by now I was happy about because the bubbles were beginning to drip into my eyes. I squeezed my eyes shut so no more bubbles could drip in. “Yup, almost there!” I said as I took a deep breath.

“Are you okay?” Steven asked sounding concerned.

“Just a little burning in the eyes, that’s all.” I tried to sound dismissive but my eyes were really starting to hurt. “Okay, I think the time is up!” I pulled the mask off, wiping the bubbles away from my eyes before taking a peek in the mirror. “Wow! That’s a lot of bubbles.” I turned the faucet on and began rinsing my face.

Steven reached around me and picked up the mask package from the sink. “It looks like maybe you just soaped up your face too much.” He began reading the package. “Did you even look to see what the ingredients were?”

“Of course I did!” I took a towel and began patting my face dry. “It’s got green tea and…” I shook my head. “I don’t know. A whole bunch of other stuff.” I hung the towel up and looked over at him. “Did I mention it’s also in French?”

Steven laughed. “You did.” He shook his head again before tossing the package back on the sink. “If you’re happy, then I’m happy.”

“I am happy.” I touched my cheek. “It feels so clean and smooth.”

“Well it should with the amount of soap you had on it!” Steven leaned over to give a quick kiss on my cheek. “You’re right it is smooth. But your eyes are all red now.”

I smiled as I picked up the package and tossed it in the trash. “What can I say? Sometimes beauty hurts.”