It was late in the morning and I was still in my pajamas. That’s not unusual for me on a weekend, especially if I was going to be doing laundry and cleaning the house. But on this particular Saturday I rolled out my exercise mat, went to Goggle and downloaded a free Yoga lesson, and decided it was time to get in better shape.

After twenty minutes of a few Downward-Facing Dogs, a round or two of Cat/Cow, and several Warrior Poses, I finally drew my palms together at the heart and took my last cleansing breath.

I had to admit, I felt better as I rolled my mat up and put it away. I found my husband Steven reading the newspaper while finishing his second cup of coffee. “Guess what I just did?” I asked him.

“I have no idea.”

I could see from the look on his face that he wasn’t in the mood to play that game so I jumped right in with my news. “I’ve decided to start Yoga again!”

“That’s nice.” He didn’t seem as thrilled as I was. I really couldn’t blame him for his lack of enthusiasm. He’d known me a long time and considering the attention span I usually give an exercise routine he was probably not even listening to me.

“No!” I cried. “I’m serious! I really mean it this time.” I began stretching my back as we spoke. “I had to do something.” I explained. “My muscles are always stiff.” As I stood there I tried to bring my knee up to my chest. I could do it, but boy did I feel it in my hip. “I’m embarrassed to say I’ve also noticed I’m having a harder time getting up off the floor.”

“You can’t get up off the floor?” Now he did look concerned.

“Well, I’m not bad enough where I have to crawl over to a piece of furniture and use that to get up.” I said. “But I certainly can’t just stand up from a cross-legged position anymore. At least, not in any kind of graceful way.” I admitted.

“So what made you stop the last time you tried Yoga?” he asked.

“Because I was taking a Yoga class.” I did a few head rolls. “You know I hate doing anything new in front of a lot of people. Everyone was better at it than me. I just felt judged.” I did a few shoulders rolls. “Now I’ve decided to just bring up some YouTube videos for beginners and do it right here!”

“Sounds like a plan.” He went back reading the paper.

“You don’t think I’ll keep up with it, do you?” I argued. I wanted him to be as excited as I was about my new plan.

“Why are you getting upset with me?” he asked.

“Because you’re not excited for me!” I cried.

“Okay. I’m excited for you.” he said.

“That’s not excited.” I was getting frustrated.

Steven looked over at me. “Isn’t Yoga also about finding the peacefulness within?” he asked.

That stopped me. “Oh. Well. Yeah. I guess.” I brought my hands together at my heart, took a cleansing breath and said. “Namaste.” I looked over at him and gave him a big smile.

Steven shook his head. “Yeah. Right back at you.”

The roast was in the oven and I was just pulling all the ingredients out of the refrigerator for a salad when my husband, Steven came into the kitchen. “Wow, it sure smells good in here.”

“Thanks. Dinner should be ready in about ten minutes.”

“Great! I’m starving!” he said as he went to the sink to wash up. “Hey! Is that a hummingbird?”

he asked as he turned the faucet off and pointed out the window.

“Are you kidding me?” I cried. Leaving the refrigerator door open I dropping the peppers and romaine lettuce on the counter and pushed him away from the window to see for myself.

He was right. There he was the most beautiful spring sight I could ever ask for. The first hummingbird of the season was hovering over my red geranium plant. “Oh my gosh!” I cried. “I’m not ready!”

“What?” Steven looked at me confused.

“The weather has been so strange lately. Cold one day hot the next. I wasn’t thinking they’d come so soon.” I turned off the oven, closed the refrigerator door, and went downstairs.

“What are you doing?” Steven called.

“Getting the hummingbird feeder!” I cried as I went to the pantry. Grabbing the feeder and the five pound bag of sugar, I was back upstairs and ready to go. I filled a pot with water and turned the stove on.

“What are you making with the roast?” Steven asked.

“What?” I was distracted as I started taking the feeder apart and began washing it in hot water.

“What’s the water for?” He pointed to the pot on the stove.

“It’s for the hummingbird.” I said. I turned the feeder upside down on a paper towel to dry while I began measuring the sugar.

“What happened to dinner in ten minutes?” he asked.

“That’s before we saw the hummingbird.” I said. By now the water had come to a boil and I began pouring the sugar in. “The poor thing must be starving.”

“I’m kind of hungry too.” Steven said.

I looked over at him leaned up against the counter. I pulled the roast out of the oven and set it on a hot plate. “I’m going to let the meat rest for about ten minutes.” I pointed to the salad ingredients. “You could start making the salad for me.” I was peeking into the pot as I gently stirred the sugar, waiting for it to dissolve. “That would speed things up.”

Steven grabbed a knife and cutting board and began chopping.

Once the sugar was dissolved I poured it into a container and placed it in the refrigerator to cool. I went to the window one more time to see if our little visitor was still on the back deck. He was racing from planter to planter looking for food. “Hang on little guy, dinner is coming.” I called to him.

“I sure hope so.” Steven mumbled as he sliced the pepper. “Did I mention I’m starving.”

“ALEX!” I screamed. “HELP! THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY COMPUTER!”

Alex came into my office, took one look at my gray screen with two white lines going through it and said, “I’ve never seen that before.”

“What?” I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. “What’s wrong with it?”

“What did you do?” he asked.

“Nothing, I swear!” I felt like a little kid denying that I’d just taken two cookies out of the cabinet before dinner. “At least I don’t think I did anything.”

Alex leaned over me hitting a bunch of keys. I could see a look of concern on his face.

“I was typing up an article and I went to the kitchen to get something to drink and when I came back it looked like this.” I explained.

Just than the screen went magically back to the words that I’d been typing only minutes before.

“Oh, my gosh! Thank you!” I gave him a big hug. “What did you do?”

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “I just hit the escape key a few times. It’s really no big deal.”

“Maybe not for you. But you know how bad I am with computers.”

Alex had to laugh. “Yeah, everyone in the house knows how bad you are with computers.”

“What am I going to do when you decide you want to move out on your own?” I cried.

“You can always ask Dad or Max.” he said.

“I can’t ask Max because he likes playing tricks on me when he gets into my computer. Remember the time he changed my screensaver to a Sumo wrestler? Whatever he did froze the whole computer.” I complained. “It took you over an hour to fix it for me.”

Alex laughed again. “You have to admit, it was a pretty funny picture..” he said. “So why don’t you just ask Dad?”

“I already do.” I admitted. “Believe it or not I only ask you half the time I have a problem. I was hoping by splitting it up between the two of you nobody would notice just how bad I really am at this thing.”

Alex looked surprised. “You only ask me half the time?”

I nodded my head, feeling a bit ashamed of myself. “So that’s why you can never move out.” I stated.

Alex just shook his head. “Have you ever thought about taking a class so you can learn to fix the problems yourself?” he asked.

That made me look up at him in surprise. “Are you trying to tell me I should learn to be a little more self-sufficient?” I cried.

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “Isn’t that what you tell us all the time?” he headed back to his bedroom.

I can’t even begin to explain how much I hate when my own words come back to haunt me.

Warm weather was here and I was finally enjoying my back deck again. The sun was out and there was a gentle breeze. I was busy admiring the tiny buds on the trees when my son Alex came out to join me. We weren’t really saying much to each other just watching the birds at the feeder and feeling the sun on our faces.

It wasn’t long before I noticed a plump gray squirrel scamper across the deck. He was only a few feet away from us with an acorn in his mouth.

“I guess he found one of the nuts he buried last fall.” I said. Seconds later he climbed up on my newly planted myrtle container and began digging. “HEY! GET OUT OF THERE!” I cried.

Alex looked over at me. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to stop that squirrel from digging up my whole planter!” I cried. I was now waving my arms at him. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

To my credit the squirrel stopped digging and was now perched on the edge of the container, looking at me with the nut still in his mouth.

“Don’t you know it’s spring!” I yelled at him. “There’s no more burying nuts! Take that back to your nest and eat it!”

“You’re talking to a squirrel.” Alex said quietly as he looked at our neighbors yard, checking to see if anyone else was out and could hear me.

“I know I am.” I was still waving my arms. “I was wondering who was digging up my plants. Now that I found him it’s time to talk so sense into him.” I stopped waving my arms and sat forward in my chair, trying to make direct eye contact with my nemesis. “It’s not winter anymore.” I told him. “You don’t have to bury any more nuts. Can’t you feel the warm air? Don’t you see the buds on the trees? That means it’s spring. Burying nuts now is not going to help you next winter.” By now the squirrel had dropped it’s nut on the deck and was just staring at me. I looked over at Alex. “I think he’s starting to understand.” I said to him.

“Are you serious?” Alex sounded concerned. “It’s a squirrel, he can’t understand you.”

“He can’t or he won’t.” I said. We both watched as the squirrel slowly climbed off the planter, picked up the nut and scurried back into the woods. “Good decision.” I called after him.

I looked over at Alex who was just staring at me.

“I think we’ve come to an understanding.” I said as I once again sat back in my chair and continued to enjoy the sun on my face. “I’m pretty sure he won’t be digging in my plants anymore.”

“If you’re serious that you think you’ve explained something to a squirrel you’re scaring me.” Alex said.

“Scaring you or making you laugh?” I asked.

“Depends or if you’re serious or not.” he asked.

I closed my eyes as I tipped my face toward the sun. “Why don’t we just wait and see if he comes back before I answer that.”  

My husband, Steven and I were picking up some friends to go out to dinner. We pulled into their driveway and they got into the back seat. As we drove out of the neighborhood Steven made a sharp turn and we heard something roll out from under my front seat.

“Why do you have a big rock back here?” my friend said.

“Oh, I must have forgotten to take that out.” I explained. “I’m lining the path to my back shed with interesting rocks I find.”

“Oh.” Our dinner couple didn’t sound convinced.

“Just kick it back under my seat if it gets in your way.” I said.

We continued on to the restaurant and had a wonderful evening. After we dropped them back at their house and Steven and I were headed home, it seemed Steven had waited until we were alone before he asked this question.

“You collect rocks?” Steven asked.

“Sure.” I said. “I thought you knew that?”

“Why would I know that?” he asked.

“Haven’t you noticed the rocks lining the path to the back shed?” I asked. “Where do you think they’re coming from?”

“I didn’t see any rocks lining the path.” he said.

“Well, I’ve just started. There’s only about twelve rocks right now so maybe you might have missed it.”

Steven took a sharp turn and we could hear the rock rolling in the back. “That one makes thirteen so maybe you’ll notice it now.”

“Why can’t you collect normal things like other people?” Steven asked with a laugh.

“What are you talking about. People collect rocks.” I said.

“People collect sea shells or sea glass.” he said. “I don’t know anyone else but you that collects rocks.”

“I used to collect those but once you fill a container with them, what good are they?” I said. “Rocks, on the other hand can decorate a path in your back yard!”

Steven just shook his head. “Where are you finding these rocks?” he asked.

“All over.” I said. “I found a couple of good ones in our neighborhood. Someone must have cleaned up their back yard and was throwing them away. Lucky for me I got to them before the road crew could come by and collect them!”

“Lucky.” Steven said but he didn’t sound impressed.

“I got a good one from your brother’s house.” I said. “When we went over for Easter. He had a huge pile next to his garage. He’d dug them up in his yard when he was clearing a space for his garden.”

“Didn’t he say he was planning on using them for a wall?”

“Well, yeah. But I didn’t know that until I’d already picked a really good one for our path.”

“You stole a rock from my brother’s house?” Steven didn’t sound amused.

“I didn’t steal it!” I said. “I asked him if I could have it.” I explained. “That’s when he told me about the wall he was building but when I explained the path I was making he let me have it.”

“I’ll ask again.” Steven said as he shook his head. “Why is it you can’t collect normal things?”

I was picking up some flower pots, that I’d thrown behind the shed last fall, when I noticed something wonderful. “Steven, come quick! You have to see this!” I called to my husband who was busy spreading grass seed over the bare patches in our lawn.

“I’ve got my hands full at the moment.” he called back as I watched him drag a bag of lawn repair from one spot to another.

“I’ll come to you.” I said as I hugged the black landscaping pot in my arms and triumphantly walked over to him. “I’ve finally gotten my lily-of-the-valley to grow!” I announced as I held the pot out to him as proof of my green thumb.

“How’d that happened?” he asked as he looked in the pot at the green leaves that were already a few inches tall. I was proudly pointing to the tiny flowers that were tucked between the leaves ready to make their appearance.

“Well, I’d like to say it’s my fabulous gardening skills.”

Steven started to laugh.

“But,” I glared at him to get his laughter to stop. “I think they just needed another year to finally get established.”

“Lucky for them.” he said going back to him seeding. “I thought you threw them out last fall.”

“I thought I had too.” I said as I shrugged my shoulder then looked back in the pot. I was remembering how annoyed I’d been last year after spending hours on the phone trying to find a garden center that sold lily-of-the-valley. When I’d finally found someone who’d gotten a shipment their center was over an hour away. I’d driven up to them on a cold, rainy day and took the last three pots they had left. But after tenderly tending them all spring and summer they only produced huge leaves. I never saw any of the fragrant flowers!

“I’ll admit I was pretty disgusted with them last year.” I said looking back at the flowers that were one of my childhood favorites. “I’m glad my idea of throwing them away had only been tossing them behind the shed.”

“Always a good gardening move.” Steven said as he dragged the garden hose across the lawn and began watering the new grass seed.

“So where should we plant these?” I asked as I looked around the yard for the perfect spot.

“What do you mean we?” he asked. “Why don’t you plant them?”

“Well,” I tried to sound encouraging. “You’ve always been better at the yard stuff then me.” I gave him my biggest smile as I held the pot out to him.

“Nice try.” he tugged at the hose that seemed to be caught on something. “The trowels are in the the shed.” The hose untangled itself and he was once again watering the grass seed. “Do they need sun or shade?” he asked.

I looked back in the pot. “Oh great.” I sighed. “The little tag thing is missing! Now how am I suppose to know what they like?”

“You could always call the garden center or just Google it.” Steven suggested.

“I’ll just put them back behind the shed until I find out.” I reasoned as I put them back where I found them and headed for the house.

“Where I’m sure they’ll spend a lovely spring!” Steven called after me.

I had to smile. He knew we well.

My son Alex had borrowed my car to go pick up a few of his friends. When he returned home he dropped the car keys in my hand and said, “By the way, there’s a weird smell in your car.”

“What kind of smell?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” He stopped to think about it for a moment. “Like something went bad.”

“Like ‘old food’ bad or ‘old clothes’ bad?” I asked.

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “I have no idea.” he said before he headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

That left me sitting on the couch, holding my car keys and trying not to imagine what could possibly smell so bad in my car that my son noticed it.

Going out to the car I cautiously opened the driver’s side door, held my breath and stuck my head in. One thing I’ve learned from years of experience is that it’s best to look around first before taking in that first small whiff. Luckily, when I finally did inhale the only thing I could smell was the slight aroma of decomposing flowers. I smiled as I saw the back seat covered in small pink petals. I scooped them up to bring into the house.

Alex was just getting out of the bathroom. I held up my handful of faded pink petals. “Is this what you smelled?” I asked.

Alex leaned over to them then pulled away. “Yeah, that’s it.” He looked closer. “What are they?” he asked.

“Yesterday I drove over to the park to take a walk and I parked the car next to a flowering cherry tree.” I smiled as I remembered the sight. “When I came back from my walk I opened the windows to get a little breeze. The next thing I know the wind kicked up and I found myself in the middle of the most beautiful pink snowstorm.” I looked down at my handful of petals. “They were everywhere. The outside of the car looked like it had a pink blanket on. They were even stuck under the windshield wipers.” The petals felt silky in my hands and I couldn’t help playing with them as I finished my story. “The inside of the car got filled with them too. I was pulling them out of my hair, brushing them off the dashboard, even shooing them off the seats.” I started to laugh at the memory, but when I looked back at Alex I could see my enthusiasm wasn’t contagious. “I thought I’d gotten them all yesterday, but I guess I forgot to look in the back seat.” I held up the stinking culprit. “They’re all gone now.” I reassured him.

“It’s not the smell I’m worried about.” Alex said. “I just picked up my friends and now you tell me the back seat was covered in pink flower petals?”
I hadn’t really thought about it. But now that he mentioned it, I could see where flower petals on the back seat didn’t help make the ‘guy car’ statement Alex was looking for when he got stuck driving the family car. “Why don’t you look on the bright side?” I said. “Maybe they just thought our car smelled weird too!”

“Yeah, maybe.” Alex said as he walked into his room, but he didn’t sound convinced.

“Has anyone seen my blue reading glasses?” I called to anyone in the house that was in earshot.

No answer.

“Come on!” I cried. “I can’t make dinner until I find them!”

That got them all running.

“Where did you see them last?” Steven asked as he magically appeared in the kitchen next to me.

“In this drawer where I always keep them.” I said pointing to the junk drawer next to the stove.

“Do you want me to get you a pair from your desk?” Alex asked.

“The purple ones stay at my desk.” I said. “I’m looking for the blue kitchen glasses.”

“What about the pair you keep in your purse?” Steven was ready to go find my purse.

“No. Those are the black and white one’s they stay in my purse.” I insisted. “I need the blue kitchen ones to make dinner.”

Steven and Alex looked at one another.

“Are they different prescriptions?” Steven asked.

“No.” I answered.

“So what’s the difference?” Alex asked.

Now it was my turn to look exasperated. “I have different color glasses for different places in the house.” I explained. “This way if one of them gets misplaced I know where they came from and I can return them and not have to go through this!” I cried sweeping my hand in front of the drawer that didn’t have my glasses in them anymore.

“So why can’t you use a different pair for now and we’ll look for your blue ones after dinner?” Steven suggested.

“Oh…I’m not falling for that one.” I said as I slowly closed the drawer and looked at my now famished looking family. “If I do that no one will help me look for them after dinner. But if I say I can’t cook without them I’ll have plenty of help finding them.” I had to smile as I looked at their begrudgingly agreeable faces.

“She’s got a point.” Steven said as he looked at Alex. “You go look in the living room and I’ll go check in our bedroom.”

The two of them set off in search of my glasses. I had to smile at the power that withholding food seemed to have on them.

“They’re not in here!” Alex called from the living room.

“I’m coming up empty in here, too!” Steven called. “You go check her office and I’ll go look in the car.”

I watched as the two of them headed in different directions.

That’s when I saw my purse sitting on the dining room chair. I thought I could at least help in the search so I began unloading my bag on the dining room table.

Steven and Alex came into the room as I was finishing up the search.

“Did you find them?” Steven asked.

I held up four pairs of glasses I’d found at the bottom of my purse, including the blue ones. “I guess I haven’t been doing such a great job at keeping track of where they’re suppose to stay.” I said as I shrugged my shoulders and began throwing my stuff back in my bag.

“Are you making dinner now?” Steven asked.

I put my blue reading glasses on and picked up the take out menu for our favorite pizza place. “I am.” I said as I picked up the phone to place our order.

“Do you want to go to a yoga class with me?” This question was coming from a friend who was always trying to find a new way to keep herself in shape.

Of course my first thought was to say, “Heck no, I enjoy my extra pounds.” but I would have been lying so instead I said. “Sure, that sounds like fun.”
As I was trying to convince myself that maybe this would be the perfect exercise for me she had to ask, “Do you have a yoga mat and outfit?”

“Can’t I just wear my sweats and use a beach towel?” I asked. “I already own those.”

“You know, maybe you’re right. You should see if you like yoga first before you buy the outfit and mat.”

I had to smile. This tactful remark was coming from a friend who knew the chances of me liking a form of exercise was pretty slim. But she kept trying with me and I loved her for that.

On the first day of our class we filed down the stairs to the basement of a church. I was amazed at just how many people were in the class.

Our instructor stood in the center of our group and introduced himself. Now I know this sounds mean but I did give him the once over. I was checking to see if he had any unsightly fat hanging anywhere on him. As I’ve already explained, I’m not big on exercise so I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t take instruction from anyone who didn’t have a body shape I was looking for. If they do this professionally and have swinging arm fat or a saggy butt why would I want to waste my time taking body sculpting tips from them?

Personally I think I’m just looking for any excuse not to go to a class but he looked fine, so I claimed my spot on the floor and stretched out my beach towel.

He started explaining what we were going to be doing in a very slow calm voice. Soft music was playing in the background. I began to wonder if this was actually going to be fun. Then he turned down the lights and I just knew this was the type of exercise program I’d been searching for all my adult like.

He calmly explained each position he wanted us in, then began wandering around the room.

“Now close your eyes and clear your mind.” he instructed.

I don’t know about anyone else but whenever I’ve heard the expression clear-your-mind I immediately begin to list all the things that happened to be in my mind at that particular time. Then I began to wonder just how many people can actually clear their mind when someone asks them to. So, of course, as I’m pondering these deep thoughts I’d missed the explanation of the position he wanted us to be in.

I opened my eyes to peek at the person next to me to see what they were doing.

His calm voice happened to be standing right over me, “Your eyes should be closed.” he stated.

“Oh, sorry.” I closed my eyes and lay there wondering just how stupid I looked laying there doing nothing.

“Keep your mind clear.” he said again.

“Oh great!” I thought as the lists popped up in my head again. This time listing all the times I’d looked stupid in public places. The list was so long that sweat began popping out on my forehead. Once again I hadn’t heard his last instruction but I was afraid to peek.

The more I worried about looking stupid just laying there the heavier I perspired.

That’s when I realized that many instructors have stated that the more you sweat the better the workout is.

So as I laid in the dark mopping my upper lip with the sleeve of my shirt I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe yoga was the perfect workout for me.

My husband, Steven walked into the kitchen to find me standing at the counter holding a handful of little yellow leaves. “It seems that I’m slowly killing it.” I said sadly.

Steven’s sister had sent him a bonsai tree for his birthday. I was so happy when it first arrived. I read the card that came with the tree. “When it blooms it’s going to be covered with rosy pink flowers!” I read to Steven as he was busy unwrapping all of the protective material that a bonsai seemed to need when it traveled.

“I’m glad you like it, because these things need a lot of care and I’m never going to have the time or patience to do it.” he said.

At the time I couldn’t believe how silly he sounded, but now that I’ve been trying to care for this unbelievably needy plant for the past two weeks, I’m beginning to lose patience myself.

“I read that you can’t let it dry out because that would be a huge shock to its system.” I said. “But I keep forgetting to leave the water out for twenty-four hours so all the chlorine will evaporate. Now I’m guessing that it doesn’t like our tap water.” I complained as I picked up another yellow leaf from its delicate limb. “Then it has to have just the right amount of morning light that I can’t seem to find in this house. Even if I could find the right exposure it can’t be too close to the window because it might feel a draft.” I was still picking more yellow leaves and throwing them in the trash. “It also can’t be too close to any of the heating ducts because we have forced hot air and that will kill it in an instant!”

“I told you they were a lot of work.” Steven reminded me.

“For all the nurturing and care I’ve had to put into this thing your sister could have sent you a puppy for your birthday! At least puppies are cute and give back some love and show some appreciation for all you do for them!” I whined.

Our boys, Alex and Max, walked into the kitchen. “Has Mom killed the bonsai yet?” Alex asked.

“Not yet, but it looks like it’s on its way.” Steven said as he pointed to the pile of yellow leaves in the trash.

Alex looked disappointed. “I guess I lose that bet.” he said.

Max started to smile. “It looks like I might win this thing after all.”

“Hold on a minute.” Steven said. “It was my birthday present. I should really be the one to win this bet.”

“She’s going to have to keep it alive for another week for you to win.” Alex reminded him.

Wait a minute.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You three placed bets on how long it’s going to take me to kill this thing?”

“We all know you’re not very good with plants, Mom.” Alex said. “I never really thought it would make it through the first week, so I thought I was being generous taking the two week bet.”

“I had more faith in you.” Max said. “That’s why I gave you three weeks before it got tossed in the trash.”

I looked over at Steven.

“I’ve got the fourth week.” he admitted.

“I can’t believe you guys!” I was actually a bit hurt by their bet. “You’ve seen how much time and effort I’ve put into this thing.”

“We know that.” Steven said. “But come on, it’s a bonsai.” he reasoned. “You have to admit the odds were against you from the beginning.”