It was a beautiful morning and I was enjoying it by sitting on my back deck. While I was sipping my tea I noticed four bunnies munching away on the clover flowers.

“Steven, you have to come see this!” I called to him through the kitchen window.

Before Steven could come outside another little bunny came hopping over from the yard next door to have breakfast in our yard.

“Is it me, or are you noticing that there are more bunnies this year than years before?” I asked him.

“There does seem to be more around this year,” Steven agreed. “But it could also be that our lawn needs to be cut and we have more for them to eat right now.”

I looked at our neighbors’ yards and could see that our lawn was a few inches taller.”I’m glad you’re keeping it a little longer for them.” I said.

Steven started to laugh.”I’m not keeping it longer for the rabbits,” he said. “I just don’t have the time or the energy to keep after Max or Alex to cut it!”

“Well, I like looking at a yard full of happy bunnies.” I seasoned. “Maybe we should keep the lawn a little longer for them.”

“The boys will be happy to hear that.” Steven said as he went back to getting ready for work. “But I’m sure the neighbors won’t be very happy.”

By mid-afternoon I heard the familiar sound of the lawnmower starting up. I headed for the front door and saw my son Alex had already cut a big portion of the clover patch in front. I raced out the door, waving my arms for him to stop.

“What are you doing?” I called.

He stopped the mower and took the ear buds out of his ears. “What’s the matter?” he asked.

“Why are you cutting the lawn?”

Alex looked confused. “I promised Dad a few days ago that I’d do it and I never got around to it until now.” he said.

“We’ve decided to keep the lawn a little longer for the bunnies, so they have something to eat.” I informed him.

“Dad said that?” Alex asked looking even more confused.

“Okay.” I admitted. “It wasn’t your Dad’s decision. It was mine.”

“So you don’t want me to cut the lawn?”

I looked at how tall the grass had gotten. Then I looked over at the neighbor’s yard and felt a bit guilty. “Maybe you could just cut the grass around the clover patches and leave the clover flowers alone.” I suggested.

Alex just stared at me.

I have to admit, at times like these I do get tired of the boys looking at me as if I were losing my mind.

“All right, I guess that would look ridiculous.” I admitted. “Why don’t you cut the front lawn and skip the back yard. They can eat the clover back there.”

“Fine by me.” Alex put his ear buds back into place and restarted the mower.

I walked back to the front door, wondering how I was going to explain this to Steven when it had already taken him days to get the boys to mow.

I went out on my back deck and looked at the half a dozen bunnies munching away. “You guys are going to have to eat a little quicker.” I said. “I don’t know how long I can hold out on the mowing for you.” I hadn’t noticed my other son, Max sitting in one of the chairs.

“Who are you talking to?” he asked.

“The bunnies.” I said pointing to our clover patch.

Max looked at the bunnies and then back at me. “Do they talk back to you?” he asked.

I walked into the living room carrying a small leather bound book and my favorite pen. I settled onto the couch next to my husband Steven and opened the book to the next blank page.

“What’s that?” Steven asked as he looked at the book I was holding in my hands.

“My Grateful Book.” I said as propped my feet up on the coffee table, tapped the pen against my teeth and stared at the blank page in front of me. “I try to think of at least one thing I’m grateful for each day and write it down.”

“So it’s a diary.” Steven said with a shrug.

“It’s nothing like a diary.” I said shaking my head at his total lack of knowledge on grateful journaling. “A diary has all your thoughts, good and bad.” I said. “I don’t want to dwell on the negatives of my day. I thought if I only wrote what I was grateful for it would stop me from thinking about the things that annoy me.”

“So it’s a happy diary.” he corrected himself.

“Stop calling it a diary!” Now I was getting annoyed. At the rate he was going he sure wasn’t going to be mentioned in my grateful book that day.

“I’m sorry.” he said. “But don’t you think you’re being a little touchy about the name of a book?”

“No.” I said. “Because when you call it a diary I feel like I’m fourteen years old complaining about my parents and how unfair it was growing up in a house with seven kids in it!”

“You kept a diary when you were little?” Steven asked. “How come I’ve never seen it?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I threw them out years ago.”

“Seriously?” Now Steven seemed surprised. “I thought those were things you were suppose to keep forever.”

“I would have but when I reread them I had no idea what I was talking about.” Seeing Steven’s look of confusion I felt the need to explain myself further. “ I was always afraid my Mom would find my diary and read it, so I abbreviated everything to trick her.” I had to laugh just thinking about it.

“Did it work?” he asked.

“It worked so well I tricked myself. With sentences like, I met up today with RK and PC.”

“Who were they?” Steven asked.

“I have no idea. I even went through my middle school yearbook and couldn’t find anyone with those initials.” I cried. “Then I had a lot of days that all I’d say was I’ll-never-forget-this day, with either a smiley face or frowny face next to it.”I had to laugh again. “I’m sure at the time I was writing it I was sure I’d never forget.” I looked at Steven and shrugged my shoulders. “But I did. So I threw them out.”

“That’s too bad, they would have been fun to read.” He looked back at the book in my hand. “I assume what you’re writing about today won’t be in code.”

“Nope. I’ve learned my lesson with that! Now everything is completely spelled out. I’ll be able to go back and look at these, years from now, and remember all the little things I was grateful for.”

Steven laughed. “So what are you grateful for today?”

I smiled. “I was thinking about how grateful I was that the boys finally found where the dishwasher was instead of stacking their dirty dishes in the sink.” I thought about that one for a moment, “Or I could write down that I’m grateful the newspaper delivery person didn’t throw the morning paper under my car today!” I looked over at Steven to see which one he liked.

“That doesn’t sound like your grateful.” Steven said. “It sounds like your complaining!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Just because you start a sentence with, I’m grateful for… and then add something you’d normally complain about doesn’t make it a happy event.” he said.

“Of course it does!” I said.

But then the more I thought about it I realized he was right. I got up from the couch and began walking to our bedroom.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Because of you I now have a lot of pages to rip out of this book and a ton of rewriting to do if I’m going to make this grateful book work.”

I could hear Steven call, “You’re welcome.” as I closed the bedroom door.

“OH COME ON!” I cried as I looked down at the scale. “YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!”

My husband, Steven has heard me and came to the bathroom door. “Are you okay in there?” he asked.

By now I’d dragged the scale to me favorite light spot, close to the sink so I can ‘accidentally’ lean on the vanity while I try one more time to get the stupid thing to say what I wanted it to say. “I hate you.” I hissed as I looked down again. I thought I had said it so only me and the scale could hear but, poor Steven heard it to.

“What did I do?” he sounded confused and hurt. “Everything was fine when we had breakfast together.”

“Not you.” I called slipping on my robe and opening the bathroom door to see Steven standing there looking dejected. “The scale is broken again.” I said. “I think we need a new one.”

Steven came into the bathroom and stood on the scale. “Wow, I dropped another pound.” he said as he smiled at me.

I pushed him off the scale and moved it from the skinny-weighing-area back to our usual spot. “Try it again.” I said.

He climbed back on. “Nope, still a pound down and that’s with my clothes on! I guess my diet is finally kicking in!” he patted his stomach as he stepped off and looked at me.

“Okay, now I really do hate you.” I pouted.

“Maybe we can both be on my diet.” he suggested. “It’s working for me.”

“Yours is nothing but meat!” I said. “I can’t eat that.” I thought for a minute. “A friend of mine was telling me about the juice diet she was on. She lost ten pounds!”

“Just drinking juice?” he seemed suspicious. “She doesn’t exercise?”

“Well, she’s a runner.” I admitted.

“I keep telling you to try my treadmill. You need to get more exercise.” he said.

“I walk almost every day!” I argued. “Besides I’m more of a sprinter than a runner.” I added.

“You sprint on your walks?” Steven seemed doubtful.

“Every time I’m in an intersection and a car is coming.” I smiled at him. “I’ve been known to sprint to the other side.”

“That’s not a sprinter.” he shook his head.

I ignored his remark and continued on about the juicing. “She said it’s really a cleanse but the weight just fell off!”

“Of course it did, she wasn’t eating anything!”

“I’d get rid of all the toxins in my body and feel more energetic!”

“You’d be hungry.” he countered.

“My mind would be clearer and I’d be more focused.” I continued.

“You’d be hungry.” Steven said again.

“Why aren’t you backing me on this?” I asked. “I’ve been very supportive on your all-you-can- eat-meat diet.”

“No, you weren’t.” he said. “You kept telling me how unhealthy it was.”

“Well, it is.” I said. “But the juice diet is just fruit and vegetables. Now that’s healthy!”

“I know you.” Steven said.

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

“It means if you go on this juice diet you’ll be hungry and when you’re hungry you’re not very nice to be around.” he quickly continued. “Besides you look great just the way you are!” he smiled at me, I could see the hope in his eyes that I would believe him.

“Ah, thanks.” I gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I needed to hear that.”

I saw the relief pass over his face.

To be honest I was relieved too. I really didn’t want to drink all of my meals for the next week anyway.

As American Pharoah raced over the finish line I swear I could hear my sister, Patty cheering six towns away. I looked over at my husband, Steven, “I’m going to wait until she stops crying before I call her.” I said.

“Is she really going to be that excited?” he asked.

Oh, if he only knew.

When we were little my two other sisters and I would have to spend summers sitting in our older sister Patty’s bedroom taking tests on Thoroughbred racing trivia. Patty always called it playing school but I considered it torture. I never had any idea what she was talking about. She’d give us paper after paper of information on the lineage not only of the horses but who the jockeys and trainers were.

I can still see my other sisters lying on the floor, sweating from the summer’s heat, waiting for a breeze to blow through the window as they studied for the next test. I, on the other hand, would be staring out the window wondering when we’d be allowed out to play.

The next day I called my sister Patty, she still sounded excited as she picked up the phone. “Did you watch the race?” she asked before even saying hello.

“I did!” I laughed knowing she would still be walking on cloud nine, acting as if she owned American Pharoah herself.

“I was screaming so loud when he crossed the finish line my throat is still sore!” she said.

I had to laugh, because that’s exactly how I pictured it at her house on race day. “When I was watching the race yesterday I was thinking about when we were little and you’d make us play horse racing school every summer.” I laughed.

“Made you?” she didn’t sound as excited anymore. “I thought you loved that game?”

Now it was time for me to back-peddle. “Oh, well maybe the other girls loved it.” I explained. “I just wasn’t into horse racing as much as the rest of you.”

“Oh.” she sounded a bit hurt.

I tried to change back into happier news, “But when American Pharoah crossed the finish line yesterday my first thought was, “Hey, at least if Patty were playing horse racing school now and asked who the latest triple crown winner was I’d finally get an answer right!”

“I used to love teaching you three.” she said sounding a bit happier again. “I have great memories of those summers.”

“I know, I guess I just wasn’t a very good student.” I reasoned. “But now at least I know two triple crown winners, American Pharoah and Seabiscuit!”

There was a brief pause. “Seabiscuit was never a triple crown winner.” she said.

“Oh, I guess I’m getting that one confused with another horse.” I said.

“But Seabiscut had a really great story…”

“Oh, That’s right. Maybe I’m thinking of another horse that begins with S.” I cut her off before

she went into the Seabiscuit’s history.

I felt a bit bad cutting her off but, I was having a flashback to her hot and stuffy bedroom where I was sure to fail the test

The weekend had arrived and I’d just gotten out of bed. My still sleepy self was making it’s way to the kitchen for a huge cup of wake-the-hell-up-tea, when I saw Steven sitting on the couch finishing the morning paper.

“Morning!” he said getting up to hand me the newspaper and give me a quick kiss on the cheek. I could see he’d been up for a while because he was already showered and dressed.

“Morning.” I grumbled rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“How’d you sleep?” he asked.

Now in our house this can be a trick question. If I said “Great,” I might hear that I’d been tossing and turning all night, coughing, snoring, whatever it is that I do that can wake him up and that’s why he’s been up for so long. But if I shrugged my shoulders and gave a “Eh, I could use a little more.” I might have him looking at his watch wondering exactly how much sleep I really needed.

I decided to go with, “Great.” as I went into the kitchen to make my tea. “How about you?”

“Good.” he said leaning against the counter watching me fill my cup with water, drop a tea bag into it and place it in the microwave. “I had to get up early today to get some paperwork done, but I think I’m all caught up now.” he explained.

He watched me as I pushed the the start button on the microwave and I smiled as my cup slowly rotated inside. “That’s great!” I said sounding like I was excited that the paperwork went well when really I was just excited that I was that much closer to holding a hot cup of tea.

“I’m going to be heading out in a minute for a few appointments.” he said. “What are you up to today?”

Now, I know it’s an innocent question. It’s one I might ask him any other day, but today I really couldn’t stop wondering why I wasn’t’ going to be honest with him and say, “Absolute nothing. Not a single thing except maybe read a book or stare into space. Heck, I might not even get out of my pajamas!” but instead ,when you’re looking at someone who’s already accomplished so much before you even got out of bed well… it’s hard to be honest.

So instead I lied. “I’ve got loads and loads of laundry to do, I need to go grocery shopping, I want to get some of my own paperwork done and if I’m lucky maybe even tackle cleaning out the linen closet.” I smiled at him but inside I was screaming, “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! COULD YOU HAVE MADE YOUR LIST ANY LONGER?”

We smiled at one another as he picked up his briefcase and gave me another quick kiss on the cheek. “Okay, have an easy day.” he said as he headed for the front door.

“You too.” I said then quickly added, “What time do you think you’ll be home?” I tried to make it sound as nonchalant as possible.

“Probably around three.” he said. “What do you want to do for dinner?”

“Well, with everything I want to get done today maybe we’ll order out.” I suggested.

“Sounds great!” He grabbed his keys and was out the door.

By then my tea was ready. I took my cup and the newspaper and headed for the back porch. I thought of the list I’d given him. Everyone had enough clothes for the day, we were ordering out for dinner, so grocery shopping could be pushed back and no one would know if I did my paperwork or not. So really the only thing I had to accomplish today was get dressed before three o’clock.

I smiled as I settled into the favorite rocking chair, took a sip of tea and opened the newspaper.  

The weekend had finally come and I was planning on doing nothing but sitting on my deck reading a good book.

That is until my son, Alex came out the kitchen door and said, “Hey, I think I might need new shorts.” He was holding up a pair of khaki shorts with one pocket ripped and the hems frayed on both legs.

Now, that might not sound like much to many people but, when Alex says he might need to go shopping ,you RUN to the car thanking whoever it was that told him his clothes were years old and looked awful.

“Yeah, I’ve been telling you that you needed new stuff since you took out your summer clothes.” I said calmly getting up, trying not to make any sudden moves and spooking him. “Would you like to run over to the mall?” I casually asked as I picked up my still warm cup of tea ready to toss it in the sink and get the car keys before he knew what was happening to him.

“I thought maybe you could just sew the pocket for me.” he said.

“Hmm.” I looked at the shorts he was holding out to me, pretending I was interested in trying to fix them. “I’m sorry, they seem too far gone to fix.” I was deliberately inching my way to the door, watching to make sure he was following me. “Maybe we should go to the mall?”

“The mall?” he seemed unsure. “Are you sure you can’t just fix these?”

“Hey,” I tried to sound as if I’d just come up with this idea. “Maybe while we’re there we can look at a few shirts, maybe even some pants?”

“Wait a minute.” He said. He’d stopped moving,

I’d gone too far and said too much too quickly. I regrouped. “No you’re right, maybe a quick trip just to replace those shorts.”

“Oh.” he seemed relieved. “Maybe I do need a new pair.” He was moving towards the door again.

I grabbed my car keys and quickly walked to the car, not even yelling out to Steven where we were going. I felt like my window of opportunity was closing and I didn’t want to stop for anything.

Once we were at the mall wandering through the racks of clothes I began loading his arms with shorts, pants, bathing suits, and shirts I was almost giddy with the luck I was having finding his size and the colors he liked.

I smiled as I passed other moms with their sons following them, their arms filled with clothes and bewildered looks in their eyes as if they had no idea how they got there.

One lucky mom was actually having her son try on suit jackets, I was envious but I knew Alex’s limits on this trip and I needed to keep it under an hour of shopping.

Once his arms were filled I headed his toward the fitting room where woman of all ages were outside the entrance waiting for their loved ones to come out and be told if they were buying that particular item.

As Alex found an empty room and dropped the pile of clothes on the chair I had to laugh at the baffled look of his face as he gazed at the amount of clothes he needed to try on.

Once his door was closed I looked over at the other women, giving a slight shrug and getting quick head nods back, our silent high five to each other for getting the guys we were with that far. None of us wanted to go too far in praising one another, just in case one of the guys came out of their fitting room, saw us and finally knew for sure they’d been tricked. We couldn’t risk any of them alerting the rest of the fitting room.

Alex comes walking out of his room with his phone in his hand, “What’s this suppose to mean?” he asks as he holds out his phone to me.

I look at the message I’d just sent him. It was a picture of a tiny cow’s head and a bell next to it. “The bell is for calling you for dinner.” I said as I handed him back his phone. “The cow’s head is letting you know what we’re having.” I held up the platter of hamburgers for him.

“Why not just call me?” he asked. “I’m right in the next room.” He asked as he took the platter and headed for the table.

“Because this way is more fun.” I said as I came over with a bowl of salad and put it on the table next to the burgers. “Besides if I’d called out to you there’s a good chance you’d pretend you’re deaf and I’d have to stop cooking and go knock on your door.”

By now Steven was coming upstairs. “Does this mean dinner’s ready?” He asked holding out his phone.

Alex looked over at Steven. “Did you get the cow’s head and bell too?” he asked.

Steven handed him his phone, “No I got the musical notes and and knife and fork.”

Alex looked back at me, “Why didn’t you send me that one?” he asked. “At least that one would have been easier to figure out.” he said.

“I like to mix it up a bit.” I said as I brought over the salad dressing. “It keeps it fresh.”

“Did anyone call Max, yet?” Steven asked as he sat down.

“I sent him a message.” I answered. “He got the musical notes, a cow’s head and a tomato.”

Just then my phone dinged. “I bet that’s Max.” I said picking it up.

“Where is he?” Alex asked.

“In his room.” I began checking my messages. “He just sent me back the hear no evil, see no evil and speak no evil monkeys.” I looked over at Steven and Alex. “Okay I think he has me on that one? What do you think that means?”

Alex looked over at Steven and shrugged his shoulders. “I think it just means he likes monkeys.”

“Maybe he’d just rather be called for dinner instead of having to guess your code.” Steven suggested.

“Oh, come on this is fun>” I began clicking away looking for other emoji’s that would have him coming to the table. “Perfect!” I said clicking send. “That should get him in here.”

I sat down at the table and began to serve myself some salad.

That’s when we all heard Max’s door open.

Steven and Alex look at me. “I told you that one would work.” I said.

Max came into the dining room and looked at the table. “He, you sent a burger, fries, beer and an ice cream cone!”

“I was close.” I said as I passed him the burger platter. “They don’t have a salad bowl or a picture for ice water.”

Max sat down and took a burger off the platter. “Did you at least buy ice cream?” he asked.

I smiled as I handed him the bowl of salad. “It’s in the freezer.”

My recently graduated son Alex and I were sitting on the back porch watching the chipmunks and squirrels scurry around in the back woods collecting anything and everything they could find to make it an easy winter for themselves.

“I have to say, I know how they feel.” I said as I pointed to one very busy chipmunk running back and forth across the yard seeming to get nothing done but making very good time doing it. “For the last twenty years I’ve spent every fall running around getting someone ready for another school year.” I sighed. “This fall just didn’t feel the same without someone going back to school.”

“Yeah, it’s nice isn’t it?” Alex asked as he leaned back in his chair to get some sun on his face.

“I don’t know, I kind of missed all that running around this year.” I watched as a squirrel slowly made his way down a tree, grab an acorn off the ground, slowly look around before stuffing it into his mouth and frantically running back up the tree as if someone were right behind him ready to take it away. “Those days of feeling like that squirrel where we’d be running from department stores to grocery stores to hardware stores, then over to the office supply store trying to get you ready.” I smiled at him as he looked over at me. “And when I say ‘we’ you know I really mean ‘me’. Because there was no way you were going to get supplies, pack, and make sure everything was just right for your first day of school no matter where you were going.”

Alex smiled. “Thanks, Mom.”

“I’m not looking for thanks.” I quickly added. “I’m just saying I can relate to those guys out there.” I waved my hand in the general direction of the woods. “Once you feel the temperature start to drop there’s some strange need that comes over you to get busy doing… I don’t know…” I shrugged my shoulders,”Stuff.”

“So now that you’re not getting me ready for school, what stuff do you feel you need to do?”

“I’m glad you asked.” I smiled as I looked over at him. “I’m thinking of taking a class, maybe something on-line that I can take whenever I’m ready to start.”

Alex sat up. “Really?”

“I don’t know, I’ve been looking at a few on-line colleges and there’s one or two classes that seem interesting.” I took a sip of my tea, “It just seems like the right time for me to start taking them.”

“I think that’s a great idea.” Alex said.

“Really?” I said. “Because it’s been years since I’ve taken a class and these classes can be pretty intense. I might need a little extra time to study.”

“Well, sure. Take all the time you need.”

I felt a sigh of relief come out of me. “I’m glad you’re being so understanding, because between work and studying I might need some help around the house making dinners, cleaning bathrooms, going grocery shopping you know, stuff.”

“Sure.” Alex said. “Just let me know what you need.”

“Wow.” I had to smile. “Thanks.”

“Hey, I’m happy for you.” Alex swatted a mosquito off his arm. “I’m just glad I’m not the one going back to school this year!”

“Was it really that terrible?” I asked looking over at him. “You’re not going to miss anything about school?”

Alex smiled. “I don’t know.” he said. “Why don’t you let me know how you feel around Thanksgiving.”

I love the fall, and one of my favorite things to do since I’ve moved into my new house has been to sit on my deck and watch all the activity in my little backyard woods. I was watching the leaves slowly twirl to the ground, loving all the different colors, when I realized I hadn’t been seeing many birds lately.

Over the spring and summer my backyard had been filled with birds. My birdhouse had been twice filled with families. I loved listening to the babies cry for Mom and Dad to hurry up with the next snack. I also felt sorry for the parents as they rushed back and forth on their never ending search for food. In a way I sympathized with them because I too had children, (although they were older,) whose never ending chant was, “There’s nothing to eat in this house!”

But now my woods seemed sadly quiet. That’s when my husband Steven came out to sit with me. “Beautiful day out isn’t it?” he asked as he sat down next to me.

“It is.” I agreed. “But have you noticed there are a lot less birds back here, now that fall has started?”

Steven shrugged his shoulders. “They’re probably looking for food for the winter.” he said. “If your not going to feed them, someone else will.”

That was all I needed to hear as I got up, grabbed my purse and headed for the front door. “Be back in an hour.” I called.

Within the hour I was back on my deck sitting next to Steven as we both looked at the new feeder I’d set up at the edge of the woods. “How long do you think it going to take for the word to get out that we’ve got food?” I asked.

Steven never got the chance to answer as the first chickadee landed on the feeder and just as quickly flew away with its seeds.

As the hours went by I got busy doing chores around the house but each time I went by the back windows I checked on the feeder. “There must be a dozen chickadee’s out there now!” I called to Steven, who I’m sure wanted these updates.

“That’s great.” he called back. He didn’t sound as enthusiastic as I was but I knew in time he’d be enjoying the feeder as much as I was.

As dusk began to fall I was back on the deck with Steven, both of us watching the feeding frenzy that was happening at the feeder.

“You know I liked when the chickadee’s were enjoying it but now that the blue jays and squirrels have found it I’m not loving it as much.” I complained as I watched a squirrel hanging upside down emptying out the last few seeds from the bottom of the feeder. “Am I the only one in this neighborhood with a feeder!”

Steven looked over at me as I grabbed the bag of seeds ready to go out and fill the feeder again. “Wasn’t it just this morning you were complaining that our backyard was too quiet?” he asked.

“Yes, but I wanted to feed house finches and chickadee’s. Not these guys.” I said with disgust as I pointed to the four blue jays yelling at one another from the nearby trees.

Just then a little chipmunk scurried under the feeder, quickly trying to grab some seeds. “Oh my gosh, isn’t he the cutest thing!” I cried as looked back at Steven to see if he could see him from where he was sitting.

That’s when the blue jays started swooping down at the chipmunk, chasing him through the underbrush.

“Hey!” I called out. “Leave him alone!” I was waving my arms trying to scare the jays as I headed toward the feeder.

I could hear Steven laughing as he called out, “Has anyone mentioned that you can be a roller coaster of emotions at times?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I said as I tried not to laugh as I refilled the feeder.