LOW-E

I was sitting on the couch using my phone to skim through some articles on the internet when I came across one that caught my interest. “Okay, now I know what I have!” I called out to my husband Steven who was out in the kitchen making a sandwich. “I have all the symptoms!”

“What are you talking about? I thought you were feeling better.” he called back.

“I feel better from the cold I’d had but these other symptoms have been with me for a while now.”

Steven walked into the living room, a half of a ham and cheese sandwich in one hand and a glass of water in the other. He placed the glass on the coffee table and sat down next to me.

“What symptoms do you have?” He took a bite of his sandwich.

“I’m always ready for a nap.” I held up my thumb to show him how I was ticking off my symptoms. I held up my pointer finger. “Feeling stressed.” I looked over at him, raising my eyebrows. “That’s a big one for me.”

Steven nodded. “Okay.”

“Not being able to finish simple tasks.” I held up another finger.

“What simple tasks?” he asked as he reached for his glass and took a drink.

“Like unloading the dishwasher.” I shook my head. “I emptied the top rack but then I heard the buzzer going off on the dryer. By the time I folded the load in the dryer I just needed a quick break on the couch before even thinking about finishing the dishwasher.” I pointed to my phone. “That’s when I decided to start Googling my symptoms.”

“So what do you have?”

“I have low E.”

Steven looked confused. “What’s low E?”

“It’s low energy.” I looked over at him. “My energy is SO low that it takes too much time to say energy so they just say E.”

“So how do they say you fix it?” Steven took another bite, leaned back against the cushions and put his feet up on the coffee table.

“Well…” I skimmed the article. “Oh, wait!” I began shaking my head. “That’s not going to happen.”

“What?” Steven was trying to look at my phone.

“They say the best way to fight low E is to exercise.” I was still shaking my head. “I don’t have the energy for that!”

“They might have a point.” Steven tried to reason.

“Nope.” I clicked off my phone. “It’s the same in the beginning of every new year. They want you to join a gym or buy a new piece of exercise equipment.” I tossed the phone on the couch next to me. “Well, they’re not going to fool me!”

“But you have been exhausted lately.” Steven reminded me.

“That’s true but sometimes just knowing what you have makes all the difference in the world.” I leaned back against the cushions and looked up at the ceiling. “Maybe we should order take out tonight.” I turned my head to look over at Steven. “That might help my low E.”